Ten Ways to Get Your Groove Back After the Holidays

“Christmas waves a magic wand over this world, and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful” – The Rev. Norman Vincent Peale

The joy - and stress of Christmas is over.  The office parties, family gatherings and gift giving will soon be a distant memory.   The holidays give us time to pause and remember the things that are important in life.  Keep the traditions with which we are familiar.  We love making merry and hate to see it end.

But the demands and expectations, the rushing to get things done have taken their toll.   You’re left feeling exhausted and burned out from all that magic and joy.    And perhaps a little regretful.

Maybe you ate too much and gained a few pounds.   Maybe you spent too much even though you had a strict budget.   Maybe it’s just the quiet of winter.   Some people experience serious mood changes when the season is over.   Tiredness, fatigue, depression and irritability. Or just the blues.

 It’s safe to say that after expending so much energy over the last few months, your body needs down time to recharge and rejuvenate.   You need outlets that help you reduce stress as well as stay positive and upbeat.

It’s easier to lift your spirits when you have something to look forward to.    The activities you choose to get involved in for stress relief should afford you a sense of overall well being.   Practicing deep breathing, affirmations, meditation, visualization and progressive relaxation (BAM VP) top the list for emotional balance.

Plan some low energy activities over the next few days that you enjoy doing.   For example:

       1.      Get out and enjoy nature – fresh air and sunshine are terrific mood boosters.
       2.    See the show you missed during the holidays.
       3.    Meet a good friend(s) for lunch and share holiday trials and triumphs.
       4.    Rent a funny movie and get a good laugh.  Laughter is another great mood booster.
       5.    Listen to music that makes you nostalgic.  Puts you in a good mood.
       6.    Replace negative thinking – the “why does everything happen to me” thoughts – with self- 
             affirming talk (I deserve to be happy and healthy)!

7.      Interact with a child, laugh and let your “inner child” come out to play.

       8.      Spend the day enjoying a favorite hobby.  Create something with your hands.
       9.      Take that Christmas gift certificate and buy something just for you.
       10.  Get a full body massage.   An excellent way to feel pampered, invigorate the body and  
             increase those feel good endorphins.

 

Taking time out to take care of you is a form of self-therapy that eases the tensions from the joy and stress of the season.  Pleasurable outlets that help you reduce stress are vital when you need to beat the holiday blues and get your groove back.  As for those few extra pounds.  Well that’s what New Year’s Resolutions are for.

 

 

More Than Willpower: How to Break an Unhealthy Habit

More Than Willpower:  How to Break an Unhealthy Habit

"...Understand your actions, for they become habits.  Study your habits, for they become your character..." - Oliver Wendell Holmes

Why do I keep doing this to myself?  Whether it's overeating, not exercising, smoking too much or biting your nails.   You know it's not healthy.  But all your efforts to break the habit by sheer will have left you stressed and exhausted.  And eventually they failed.

Here's why.  Habits form on a subconscious level.  Often as a learned response to stress.  The habit supports, calms and sooths you.  The reward is a chemical release of dopamine - the natural high runners often talk about.  Repeating the behavior delivers the same pleasurable reward.  The brain reverts to the learned response making it automatic.

Willpower may interrupt this automatic response temporarily.   But to make a lasting change you must create a new healthy habit to take the place of the old ingrained habit.   To be successful it is essential you know the answers to the following:

Why Change the Habit

Know your motivation to change.   You have to have a compelling "why".   Ask yourself, "Why make the change now?  What gives me the determination to change?  What will I gain?  What will happen if I don't change?"

What Triggers the Habit

Understand your pattern:  What triggers the habit i.e., where are you, who are you with and what are you doing?  What is pleasant and unpleasant about the habit?  What's in it for you besides the feel good "rush"?

How to Link the New Habit to a Reward

What healthy habit can you create to replace the unhealthy habit and get similar rewards, satisfaction?  You must enjoy the change as something that brings joy in your life.  Give yourself small rewards often to link pleasure to your new behavior.  Because if it doesn't feel good, permanent change won't happen.

When Will the New Habit Stick

Studies show it takes from 21-28 days to make new pathways in the brain for a new habit to become ingrained.  To make it "stick" the new habit needs practice, consistency, focus and repetition for it to become automatic.

The only thing left for you to do is mark your calendar for day 1:

• Post your motivation and rewards list everywhere for continued incentive.
• Get support from family, friends, role models for positive reinforcement if you need it.
• Avoid temptation - the old triggers - until you feel strong enough.
• Give yourself small rewards often.  Factor in a long term reward to celebrate your success.

Finally, to ensure long term results, visualize the new you repelling the unhealthy habit and replacing it with the healthy habit. Several times a day.  Be consistent.  Every day for the next 28 days.



Your comments:  What if anything did you do to overcome an unhealthy habit?  What worked?

How to Say "No" Without Making Enemies

How to Say "No" Without Making Enemies

"I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody." - Bill Cosby


You just said yes to something you did not want to do.  Again.  And why?  Because you did not want to appear rude or make the other person angry.  It's not in your nature to be confrontational.  And even though you sometimes feel used, or could kick yourself for being such a pushover, it's too stressful to just say no.

You're Too Nice

You always put yourself last and people expect that.  But you are tired of trying to please everybody.   It's time for a change.  And that change begins when you decide your time has value.   No one can do that for you.  Once you acknowledge that your personal responsibilities take priority, saying no to new commitments becomes that much easier.

Fortunately there are several ways to decline a request when you...


Don't Want to Alienate

Your pushy neighbor appoints you to coordinate a fund raiser for a worthy cause she is sponsoring.  It's an enormous responsibility you don't have the time or inclination to undertake.  On the other hand you don't want to cause bad feelings between the two of you.

Solution:  In this case it may be easier to decline while offering an alternative.  Say no to the request.  "I'd love to but I can't do it at this time.   I don't have time in my schedule to give this the attention it deserves." Then offer to do whatever part you feel you can handle.   Don't allow yourself to be manipulated into helping further.   Only you know and can protect your limits.

Don't Want to Anger

When it comes to family you are the "go to" person.  You are expected to get things done.   But when it comes to making you responsible for planning and coordinating your sister's wedding...it is just too much.  And though you don't want the family angry with you, you resent being the one everyone  dumps on. 

Solution:  This is your opportunity to redefine your role without being defensive or argumentative.  "I am flattered that you gave this awesome role to me but it is too much to take on alone.  So I'm going to have to say no".  Avoid the stress of feeling guilty by offering to discuss alternatives.  "I'll tell you what.  If you can get our relatives to pitch in I'll be more than happy to do my part".  You can put your needs first and still be agreeable.

Put it Off

Your coworker manipulates others to do the lions share on his projects.  Now it's your turn.   You tell him you will think about it.  But the last thing you want to do is help someone who won't carry his own weight. You have enough work to do.

Solution:  Don't put off the inevitable.  When you know you are not interested in the proposition, don't waste everyone's time with "Let me think about it".   Let him know you already have a full plate. "I'd like to help you out but it is simply impossible at this time. I am swamped with my own projects".  Don't make up excuses.  And don't leave room for further discussion.  Respect that you have a right to say no when the request is not in your best interest.

At the end of the day you will feel better with the new assertive you.  Less stressed and more in control of your time.  You found ways to say no without appearing rude or alienating family and friends.   And best of all the people who matter still like you.  Even when you say no.       

Accentuate the Positive for this Beauty Secret

BAM VP - Be A More Vibrant Person in 2012

Be Awesome, Motivated, Vibrant and Passionate!  A daily energizing routine of Breathwork, Affirmations, Meditation, Visualization and Progressive Relaxation will make you feel your best every day.
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Accentuate the Positive for this Beauty Secret

"If someone in your life talked to you the way you talk to yourself, you would have left them long ago." - Carla Gordon


Think of all the negative things you say to yourself every day.  I'm not smart enough, good enough, pretty enough.  I'm too fat, skinny, tall short.  My nose is too big, hips too wide, legs to thin, feet too large.  Today is a bad hair day because my hair is too straight, kinky, curly, long, short.  Oh no, not another wrinkle!

Nobody's Perfect

Although you've heard it before, it bears repeating:  Nobody's perfect.  We all have something about ourselves we would like to change.  The cosmetics and plastic surgery industry is a multi-billion dollar testament to that.  "Insider secrets" to enhance your looks by changing the way you apply makeup, what you wear or the way you walk, talk and more are easy to discover on the Internet.

The point is no matter how big the flaw, it's usually cosmetic.  Be grateful that you have that nose, those hips, legs and feet and that they function the way they should.  Because in this world there is someone, somewhere without, who would gladly trade places with you.

Accentuate the Positive

While it is easy to find superficial faults in ourselves, take care when choosing the words you use to describe yourself.  Negative words cause an emotional backlash that will chip away at your self-confidence.  On the other hand, positive words build your self-esteem and lift your spirits. 

Real Beauty

You can change your outer appearance but it is how you look and feel inside that count.   That is where real beauty begins.  There is where real change happens.   And that is where a healthier outlook on life thrives.

Question:  What does beauty mean to you?

Give Me A Break: 7 Resources that Make Life Easier for Caregivers

Give Me A Break:  7 Resources that Make Life Easier for Caregivers


"I must do something' always solves more problems than 'Something must be done'". - Unknown Author

Julia, a divorcee was one of the "sandwich generation" balancing life between an adult child who had come back home to live and aging parents who need more of her time and resources.  Between the two, it was worry about the failing health and ongoing care of her parents that caused the most stress.

And it was not just the finances - although she did not know where the money for their care would come from.  Signs of deterioration showed they could not live alone much longer.   And Julia knew she would not be able to shoulder the burden of full-time caregiver if they moved in with her.

The weight of having all the decision-making fall on her shoulders - some of it crucial when it came to her parents future needs - was making Julia feel overwhelmed and emotionally drained.  She did not know where to begin to turn for help.

Caregivers Are...

Caregiver is the term for anyone who looks after a person who needs assistance with daily tasks.  Whether you move your loved ones into your home or keep them in their house, caregivers report that the daily challenges will leave you feeling guilty because of the anger, frustration and sometimes loss of patience you feel.  You begin to feel there is no escape.   It becomes even more complicated if the loved one suffers from dementia and Alzheimer's disease.

Fortunately there are agencies and community organization with services that can make life easier.  Senior Centers offer meals and activities and some medical care.  Senior Corps sends volunteers age 55 or older to visit the elderly at home.   Occupational therapist can evaluate a home and recommend safety improvements such as grab bars in the bath tub as well as help the elderly improve their balance and strength.

Resources That Make Life Easier

Research in the June 2012 AARP Magazine offers an extensive list of resources including:

1. AARP'S Caregiving Resource Center at www.aarp.org/caregivers.
2. Your local Area Agency on Aging (AAA) for living options your loved one may be entitled to www.n4a.org.
3. SNAP for Seniors lists residential facilities on its website www.snapforseniors.com.
4. The National Association for Home Care & Hospice lists home-care agencies on its website www.nahc.org.
5. Leading Age represents not-for-profit senior residences on its website www.leadingage.org.
6. Medicare's website ranks local nursing homes and health agencies www.medicare.gov.
7. Geriatric-care managers help with all aspects of caring for older adults www.caremanager.org.

After researching her options, Julia got help for her parents by working with community agencies in her area.   They also steered her toward programs that help relieve some of the financial costs.  On her own Julia explored The National Council on Aging website for sources of government aid www.benefitscheckup.org.

For more comprehensive information and resources that make life easier for caregivers, AARP's Caregiving Resource Center at www.aarp.org/caregivers  is a one-stop shop.. 

What Every Woman Should Know About Stress

BAM VP - Be A More Vibrant Person in 2012

A daily energizing routine of Breath, Affirmations, Meditation, Visualization and Progressive Relaxation will help you feel your best every day: Bold, Awesome, Motivated, Vibrant and
Powerful. 
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What Every Woman Should Know About Stress

"We can do whatever we wish to do provided our wish is strong enough.  What do you want most to do?  That's what I have to keep asking myself, in the face of difficulties". - Katherine Mansfield

Last week's horoscope read, "The biggest threat to you is stress - and that's something you can manage if you put your mind to it".  Finding ways to manage stress is wise advice for all of us.  But when it comes to women's health, practicing some form of stress relief is crucial.

Stress exacerbates a woman's cycle from pre adolescence to post menopause.  That is because hormones like estrogen rule our cycles.   Add to it the stress hormone cortisol, which is produced in abundance when we become overwhelmed juggling the responsibilities of home, family and career.  These hormones make a volatile mix that affects balance, mood changes, changes in metabolism, heart rate, respiration, blood pressure and memory.

Stress also makes PMS symptoms worse.  Extreme levels of stress trigger psychological and physical symptoms during ovulation and menstruation such as cramping, mood swings, fatigue, insomnia, rapid heartbeat and shortness of breath.

Menopause symptoms such as night sweats and hot flashes are far more intense for women under chronic stress.

According to Dr. Susan Lark and other authorities on women's health, the underlying cause of eighty percent of doctor's visits is stress.  Chronic stress can increase one's susceptibility to virtually every major disease.

Studies now link urinary infections, postpartum depression, acnes, psoriasis, diabetes and autoimmune illnesses with chronic stress symptoms.  Studies show an indirect link between stress and cancer because chronic stress weakens the immune system - the body's natural defense to contain and destroy cancer cells.  Recent research from the Association for Cancer links stress to an aggressive form of breast cancer in African American and Latino women.

The problem is that many women don't hear the warning message their bodies send out.  Partly because women are too stressed out to listen.  They don't connect the symptoms to stress.  But the irritability, insomnia, appetite changes, tense muscles they experience are signs of stress.

The good new is there is something you can do today to relieve stress in your life.  Try several relaxation techniques to find what works for you.  Yoga, meditation, deep breathing, journaling, walks in the park, a hobby, pampering spa treatments, etc.  Reassess your to-do list and cross off all non essentials.  And ask for help when needed. 

• Make a commitment to yourself to practice some form of relaxation every day.
• Find a routine you can stick with that fits your lifestyle.
• Practice daily, consistently until managing stress becomes your habit.
• Monitor your self-talk when tempted to skip out.  Make an affirmation like, "I am doing this everyday...for me and my health" to keep you motivated.

We now know that taking time to relieve the stress and tension in our lives is not just a "guilty pleasure".  Managing stress is vital to our emotional and physical fitness.  So start now and dedicate time for relaxation and relieving stress, knowing you are contributing to your health and wellness.

Remember the biggest threat to you is stress.  An that's something you can manage if you put your mind to it.

How Do You Relieve the Stress In Your Life? Take the Stress Quiz

  BAM VP - Be A More Vibrant Person in 2012

A daily energizing routine of Breath, Affirmations, Meditation,Visualization and Progressive Relaxation will help you feel your best every day: Bold, Awesome, Motivated, Vibrant and Powerful.
_________________________________________________________



How Do You Relieve the Stress in Your Life?  Take the Stress Quiz
"Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it." - Dennis P. Kimbro

We can't go through life without some stress.  But when stress is chronic, unrelenting, ongoing, it can affect your health and compromise your immune system.

There are people who see stress as a challenge and take it in stride.  And there are others who become overwhelmed and end up physical wrecks.  Since unrelieved stress is detrimental to your health, it is helpful to understand exactly how you handle stress.  are you making yourself more vulnerable because your coping strategies are less than resourceful?

Below is a list of some common ways people cope when faced with stressful situations.  Take the stress quiz and check all that apply to you.

When Under Stress

1. _____I withdraw emotionally and do nothing.

2. _____I confront the problem and work to resolve it.

3. _____I eat or sleep more than I should.

4.  _____I engage in physical activity to "blow off" the pressure.

5. _____I drink and/or smoke too much.

6. _____I unwind with a hobby or creative interest or other relaxing  pastime.

7. _____I worry to the point that I can't sleep nights.

8. _____I talk with family and friends for input and support.

9. _____I become irritated and take my anger out on those around me.

10. ____I practice relaxation techniques like deep breathing, meditation, etc.

11. ____I ignore my needs and try to please others.

12. ____I get away from it all periodically to rejuvenate.

Your Score:  Did you check more of the even-numbered answers or more of the odd-numbered answers?  The even-numbered answers represent the more constructive coping strategies.  Take a look at the odd-numbered strategies you checked.  Those are the areas you need to work on.  Recognize them as opportunities to take charge of an aspect of your life that you are not handling to the best of your ability.

Focus on what is possible and set your sights on accomplishing it.  Begin by drawing from the self-assertive (even-numbered) answers.  Adapt those strategies to fit your specific needs.  When you believe you are in control, you are better able to handle stressful situations.  That's empowering.

The lesson to learn from the Stress Quiz is this: it is not the stress but the way you handle it that is most important to your physical and emotional health.


For an in-depth look at life events that raise your stress levels, Google "Holmes-Rahe Life Stress Inventory".

Don't Worry, Be Happy - Your Choice

BAM VP - Be A More Vibrant Person in 2012
A daily energizing routine of Breath work, Affirmations, Meditation, Visualization and Progressive Relaxation will help you be your best every day: Bold, Awesome, Motivated, Vibrant and Powerful.
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Don't Worry, Be Happy - Your Choice

"Keep your mind on the things you want and off the things you don't want." - Hannah Whitall Smith


You can create a happier, healthier outlook by choosing to celebrate the joy in your life rather than despair.   Here's a tip or two:

• Replace negative thinking with self-affirming thoughts.  The next time you are beating yourself up over something you did or something done to you - STOP.  Instead think of a compliment, thoughtfulness or kind word someone gave you.  Remember the times you coped with a difficult situation and succeeded.  Overwhelm and collapse negative thinking by stacking and accentuating the positive moments in your life.

• Do something special each day just for you.   Buy yourself flowers.   Listen to music that lifts your mood and brings back fond memories.  Get out and walk, hike, bike and enjoy nature.  Interact with a child.  Lend a helping hand and feel great.  Be silly and share a laugh with family and friends (laughter is the ultimate mood lifter).  Pursue a goal or hobby.  Create something with your hands.  Buy something new.  Meet a friend for lunch.   Get a massage.  The list is limited only by your imagination.

Each day is a brand new opportunity to improve something in your life.   And at the end of the day, the ability to be happy is yours to choose.

A 5 Minute Morning Meditation to Lift Your Spirits and Put a Smile on Your Face

BAM VP - Be A More Vibrant Person in 2012
A daily energizing routine of Breath work, Affirmations, Meditation, Visualization and Progressive Relaxation will help you meet each day more Bold, Awesome, Motivated, Vibrant and Powerful.
_______________________________________________________

A 5 Minute Morning Meditation to Lift Your Spirits and Put a Smile on Your Face

"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony." - Mahatma Gandhi

Set your alarm five minutes earlier tomorrow.  When you get up, find a quiet place to sit and gaze out a window.  Look up at the sky.   Really notice the color and expanse.   Follow the shape and movement of the clouds.

Let your thoughts drift as you enjoy the morning stillness.  This is your time to focus on what is good in your life - not the worries of yesterday, today or tomorrow.

Begin your meditation by focusing on your breathing.   The rhythmic rise and fall of your breath.  Since breathing has a strong effect on emotional change, it is a natural bridge to begin to meditate.  Slow measured breathing has a calming effect.

Gently close your eyes and tune into your body.   A word will come to you that describes what you are feeling.  Calm, relaxed, peaceful, happy, confident.  That is your relaxation keyword.  Spread the word throughout your body.  From the top of your head to the tip of your toes.

Put your relaxation keyword in a phrase that inspires you to handle stress differently today.  For example, "I am calm and relaxed" when you are feeling tense and anxious.  Use this phrase whenever you need it throughout the day.

*Inhale slowly and  mentally repeat, "I live with a happy heart, a peaceful mind and a playful spirit".  Stay with it for a minute or two.  Inhale deeply and in the privacy of your own mind quietly shout, "I deserve health and happiness!"

Just before you are ready to open your eyes, begin to stimulate that positive energy that is a smile by recalling something you enjoy.  Something that makes you feel good.  Let the corners of your mouth turn up.  Smile.  Send this smiling energy into every bone and every organ and every nerve and every cell in your body.

Now take that smiling energy up into your heart.

Decide what you would like to take with you into your day.  Something of a positive, inspiring nature.  Open your eyes and start a day you look forward to!


*From Quantum Focusing - Finding the Zone by Michael Ellner and Alan Barsky.

Is It Stress or Burnout? 7 Signs You Should Know

Is It Stress or Burnout?  7 Signs You Should Know

BAM VP - Be A More Vibrant Person in 2012
A daily energizing routine of Breath work, Affirmations, Meditation, Visualization and Progressive Relaxation will help you meet each day Bold, Awesome, Motivated, Vibrant and Powerful
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"Simplicity means taking charge of a life that is too busy, too stressed, and too fragmented...focusing on the essentials - whatever those may be for each of our unique lives" - Duane Elgin


One third of Americans live with extreme stress, naming money and work as the leading cause.  Stress is a significant reason for problems with family and friends.  Eight percent connect stress to divorce or separation.  These are the statistics reported by the American Psychological Association.

Anyone can suffer from stress or burnout.  From the frazzled office worker putting in late hours, to the frenetic homemaker struggling with children or caregiving, to the Type A personality with control issues.

Stress is About Too Much Pressure and Responsibility

You are expected to be too many things to too many people.  Symptoms include feeling irritable, fatigued, frustrated, overwhelmed.  Physically your body aches and your blood pressure is up.  Despite this, you still feel optimistic that if you can just get things under control everything will work out.

The good news is stress is easier to handle at this stage - before it becomes chronic.

Burnout is About Having Too Little Left to Give

It is the more intense form of stress.  Symptoms include feeling empty, helpless, hopeless.  Loss of motivation and interest.  Feeling nothing you do is appreciated or makes a difference.  Problems seem overwhelming and you are unable to meet the demands. 

Because burnout is gradual, you may not realize you are past the breaking point until it is too late.
In the early stages stress reduction strategies may be enough.  Though it will take a good amount of time and effort.  If symptoms persist or become worse, however, it is best to see a doctor.

7 Signs of Stress                                 7 Signs of Burnout

Over engagement (doing too much)    Disengagement (not worth it)
Over reactive (hypersensitive)             Emotions blunted (past caring)
Urgency and hyperactivity                   Helplessness and hopelessness
Loss of energy                                     Loss of motivation, ideas, hope
Anxiety disorders                                 Detachment and depression
Primary damage is physical                  Primary damage is emotional
May kill you prematurely                      Life seems not worth living

Source: Stress and burnout ministry

What You Can Do for Relief

• At work:  speak with your boss to clarify job description, renegotiate new job duties.  Give yourself a break and take time off when needed.
• At home:  set boundaries, learn to say no and get help where needed.  Carve out daily "me time" to relax.
• For the high achieving Type A personality:  take a break from the laptop, email, Blackberry.  Find a fun project, hobby or other non-work related activity to get away from responsibilities.

Begin to understand that stress management and relaxation are a vital part of your physical and emotional fitness.  Learn breathing routines, affirmations, meditation, visualization and progressive relaxation to find what works for your lifestyle.  Take a "time out", eat healthy, exercise and get plenty of rest.  Finally, reassess your goals, simplify your life and rediscover what what makes you happy.

Did You Celebrate Women's History Month?

BAM VP - Be A More Vibrant Person
A daily energizing routine of Breath work, Affirmations, Meditation, Visualization and Progressive Relaxation will help you meet each day more Bold, Awesome, Motivated, Vibrant and Powerful.
__________________________________________________

Did You Celebrate Women's History Month?

"I am strong, I am invincible, I am woman" - song lyrics by Helen Reddy

The women's and feminist movement of the 1970's played a pivotal role in the fight for equal rights in the workplace for women: (1) equal work for equal pay, (2) equal opportunity for promotion, (3) breaking through the glass ceiling and (4) moving into senior management.  Having it all.  Now that you have it...how's that working for you?

You already have an important job.  You have a household to run.  Washing, ironing, cooking and cleaning.  Married?  With children?  You have a family to nurture and raise.  And that is a 24-7 job, thank you.  You take pride in this part of your life.  You love what you do and you do it well.

At work you have a career to pursue.  You take on duties beyond your job description.   Present reports, chair committees, attend conferences and seminars for continuing education.  Thanks to mentors in your field you learned the politics of promotion and advancement in your field.  Stay on the radar of the decision makers.  Don't be sidelined to a supervisor role.  Your sights are on a management path.  Director, vice president, senior management.   That's your goal.  You take pride in this area of your life.  You love what you do and you do it well.

Each role in your life brings you happiness.  But together they can be overwhelming.  No one's taking up the slack and no one figured how you were supposed to do it all.  The stress, irritability and mood swings are draining.  In your body, the stress hormone cortisol, if left unchecked will wreak havoc with your immune system.   If you do nothing you are heading toward burnout, illness and disease.

• Make your well-being a priority now.  Learn relaxation methods like breath work, affirmations, meditation, visualization and progressive relaxation to help you manage overwhelm, and handle the problems that cause dis-stress.
• Carve out some time away from responsibility to celebrate you.  If necessary ask for help with the household duties and put a "do not disturb" sign on your bedroom door.  Have breakfast in bed.  Read that novel you haven't been able to get to.  Or go out for a walk and enjoy nature.  Take in a movie.   Lunch with friends.  Get a mani-pedi and/or treat yourself to a massage.  Spend the time doing something that you enjoy.
• Take as much pride in "me time" as you do for your household and career.  Take a time out from worry and responsibility once a week, twice a month, as often as you can.  Love what you do for yourself and do it well. You've come a long way baby and you deserve it.

Celebrate your awesome womanhood every month of the year.   For all that you give and all that you do and all that you are.  You are the reason we celebrate Women's History Month.

So, how did you celebrate Women's History Month?  I'd like to know.

3 Ways to Conquer Procrastination

"Procrastination is my sin.  It brings me naught but sorrow.  I know that I should stop it.  In fact, I will - tomorrow!" - Gloria Pitzer

Ah, spring time.  People feel motivated to get out and get things done.  But not you.  You are a procrastinator and to you spring means more chores to add to your to-do list.  You'd rather put things off until tomorrow.

You were the student who started your book report the night before it was due.   You spent an extra year in college because your term assignments were never in on time.  Today you are the adult who puts in long hours at work.  You hope your boss believes the late hours are part of your work ethic.  The truth is you hate to tackle those reports so you struggle to get through your workload.

Feel My Pain

Fears of failure, success or rejection are the leading reasons most people procrastinate.  You don't know if that describes your reluctance.  All you know is that procrastination is a bad habit that has not served you well up to this point.   You are always playing catch up because whatever you put off today just adds to your list tomorrow.

There is a voice in your head constantly nagging you to get started.  Roll up your sleeves and do the chore whether you like it or not.   You want to change.  But how do you get started when you don't want to do it in the first place?

1. Anchor in Motivation

 Negative self-talk like, "I don't want to do this" or "Do I have to do this" is counter-productive.  Certainly not motivating.  Changing your self-talk to "I want to do this" or "I choose to do this" is an easy way to start.

Use the *NLP technique of "anchoring" to install feelings of excitement, success, motivation, pride and other positive emotions to a sight, sound or part of your body. Your ear lobe for example.  Now any time you start a task that is distasteful to you, touch your earlobe.  This will trigger those positive feelings you installed.  You will automatically feel motivated to begin.

2.  Give Your Task a Timeline

Research suggests that the unconscious mind nags until you make a plan, timeline or deadline.  Once the task has some structure your unconscious is satisfied that it is done and you will relieve some of the stress.

Spring is also tax season so let's use that example.  It is a complex, overwhelming task you dread doing.  It usually means an all-nighter just going through your papers, notes and receipts.  Pledging to start your income tax preparation today will satisfy the first step in structuring a plan.  You have given a timeline.

3.  Start With Small Steps

Deconstruct any project into smaller tasks that you can complete in a reasonable time.  Let us apply this to your income taxes.  You have approximately four weeks before the filing deadline.  If you break it down to weekly tasks it will look something like this:

• Week one - gather all receipts, papers etc.  Do a thorough search.  Place them all in one box, folder or stack.  Task completed.
• Week two - Separate and put receipts in tax categories.  Example, income, business expenses, charitable donations, etc.  Task completed.
• Week three - Total items in each category.  Look for any receipts etc., you may have missed to add to these totals.  Task completed.
• Week four - Transfer your totals to your tax form.  Mail in your tax return.

Feel My Pleasure

Taxes done and filed on time.  You feel a sense of pride and relief as you check this off your to-do list.  Best of all you now have a plan to overcome procrastination in all your future projects.


*Learn more about Anchoring (NLP) at Wikipedia.org.  View Anchoring (NLP) video demonstrations on YouTube.  NLP is the abbreviation for Neuro Linguistic Programming.

Daylight Saving Time: Wake Me When It's Over

BAM VP - Be A More Vibrant Person in 2012

A daily routine of energizing Breath, Affirmations, Meditation, Visualization and Progressive Relaxation will help you meet the day Bold, Awesome, Motivated, Vibrant and Powerful.
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Daylight Saving Time:  Wake Me When It's Over

"If you have time to whine and complain about something then you have the time to do something about it." - Anthony J. D'Angelo


You awaken at 9:00 am Sunday morning, same as always.  Turn on the TV to watch your favorite show.  But it is not on.  Wait a minute. Something's off.  You glance at the clock and see it is actually 10:00 am. Oh no...you forgot to set the clock forward for Daylight Saving Time!

You know it could have been worse.  It could have been a weekday.  You'd be in a frenzy trying to get breakfast, get the kids to the bus stop and start your commute to work.  Still, you lost an hour today.  Sixty minutes that you won't get back any time soon.  And it's unsettling.  You feel off balance, disoriented, like someone suffering jet lag.

But It's Only 60 Minutes

But those sixty minutes make a difference in your Circadian Rhythm.  This is the system that regulates your sleeping and waking pattern.  It is already set for your daily routine and Daylight Saving Time throws it off.  Your body clock needs to readjust.   It will take time for you to get reoriented.

This Is Why We Do It

The overriding reason that we take one hour from morning and add it to the end of the day is to save energy.  Research shows that the average home consumes less energy for lighting and appliances during Daylight Saving Time.  Longer sunlight in the evening encourages people to spend more time doing outdoor activities.

An interesting fact is that the observance of Daylight Saving Time is not mandatory in the United States.  Some states have opted out.  Arizona and Hawaii are two that never moved from standard time, so their residents do not change their clocks.

Make It Easy On Yourself

Over the next few days while your body adjusts, practice this simple breathing exercise to restore your energy levels:

1.  Sit where you will be comfortable.
2. Place your hands on your abdomen.  Breathe out air until you feel your stomach pull in.
3. Continue to inhale and exhale rhythmically for one or two minutes.

That's all there is to it.  This breathing routine floods your body with oxygen - the energy you will need to help you cope while your body clock realigns.  The good news is that most people  adjust in a day or two.  The better news is that you will get back those 60 minutes when you turn back the clock on Sunday, November 4th.

Empowering Self-Talk: How to Make Affirmations That Inspire Change

BA MVP - Be A More Vibrant Person in 2012
A daily energizing routine of Breath work, Affirmations, Meditation, Visualization and Progressive Relaxation will help you meet each day Bold, Awesome, Motivated, Vibrant and Powerful.
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Empowering Self-Talk:  How to Make Affirmations That Inspire Change

"Change Your Thoughts and Change Your World" - Norman Vincent Peale

"Every day in every way I am getting better and better".  You probably heard this famous  affirmation popularized in the 1920's by Emil Coue, a French pharmacist and psychologist.  After observing his patients heal faster when they focused their mind on positive healing images, Coue developed this therapeutic method he called optimistic autosuggestion.  His belief that, "you are what you think" proved to have great success in rehabilitating the thousands of patients he treated each year.

You might ask what makes this deceptively simple affirmation so powerful.  And how can I duplicate it?

• Start with the area you want to work on.  Emil Coue addressed the health concerns of people who were ill and wanted to get well.  Your challenge may be with finances, career, family, relationships, physical or emotional health, etc.  Define your source of stress.
• Make your affirmation simple and specific.  Coue's autosuggestion is a simply stated imagery for healing.  Yours may contain specific relaxation instructions, or suggestions for improved self esteem or a mantra for success.  Make sure it describes exactly what you want to achieve.   For example you want to ask for a raise, "I am clear and direct asking my boss for a raise".
• Powerful affirmations are positive and carefully expressed.  Phrase them as if they are occurring now.  Notice Coue says, "I am getting better and better."   Avoid negative statements.  For example instead of "I will not be nervous asking for a raise".   Use a positive version such as "I am letting go of tension when I talk to my boss" or I am calm and assertive asking for a raise".
• An affirmation works best when combined with an image or mental picture.  So write it down, close your eyes and visualize the touch, taste and feel of the change you want to create.
• Repeat your affirmation throughout the day, every day.  The more you say it the more connected it becomes to your desired outcome.  Routine repetition was an important part of Coue's method.  He recommended his patients repeat "Every day in every way I am getting better and better" upon awakening, throughout the day and before going to sleep at night.  When he put the power of healing into the hands of his patients Coue had great success curing them of illness and disease.

Affirmations are good for your mental health.  Evidence proves that serotonin and endorphins, those feel good hormones, are released when we focus on positive thoughts.  This scientifically based evidence works even if you are a skeptic.

So take a cue from Emil Coue.  Practice positive thinking.  Make  affirmations that work to improve your life.  You have nothing to lose but time and everything to gain.  Like a happier outlook on life, less anxiety, and better health.  The power to change is in you.

EFT: What Is It, And Why Should You Care?

          BA MVP - Be A More Vibrant Person in 2012
A daily energizing routine of Breath work, Affirmations, Meditation, Visualization and Progressive Relaxation to meet the day Bold, Awesome, Motivated, Vibrant and Powerful.
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EFT:  What Is It and Why Should You Care?

"...It is our relationship to fear that determines the choices we make.  By changing our relationship to fear, we reduce its credibility, robbing it of its power... - Thom Rutledge

Your boss has asked you to make a speech for him at the next board meeting.   You graciously accept.   But inside you are freaking out  You are terrified of speaking in public.  Every time you think about it your heart pounds and you get a sick feeling in the pit of your stomach.  The stress is causing you sleepless nights.  Is there any way to handle this panicky feeling so you can make the speech?

Emotional Freedom Technique

Here is where EFT comes in.  Founded by Gary Craig in the mid 90's, EFT is an acronym for Emotional Freedom Technique.  It is a self-help procedure for quickly releasing emotional distress and traumatic memories by neutralizing the fears and phobias that trigger them.  The end product is to defuse the emotional charge so the distress or trauma no longer has power over us.

EFT has  been used to alleviate performance anxiety, fear of heights, panic attacks, sports performance, cravings and compulsions animal phobias and more.  Its ability to enhance the outcome on health issues, psychological problems and performance issues has been scientifically studied and presented in peer review journals, research and outcome studies.  EFT success stories have been reported on TV, magazine and newspaper articles.

So Easy You Can Do It

EFT is easy to learn and apply.  You use your finger to gently tap on points of the body.  The impact is similar to acupuncture but without the needles.  The best part is you can do it yourself in minutes and get results even with no understanding of the process:

1. Measure the intensity of the feeling associated with a bad memory.  Using a scale of 1 to 10. 10 being the highest.
2. Setup phrase - Tapping the Karate Chop (side of hand), state the problem and include an affirmation about you.  Example, "Even though I have this fear about speaking in public, I love and completely accept myself."  Pairing exposure to the traumatic ordeal with self-acceptance is a well-researched psychological technique.
3. The sequence of tapping points - (1) Top of head (2) Inner eyebrow (3) Side of eye (4) Under eye (5) Under nose (6) Chin (7) Collarbone (8) Under arm.

Repeat stating the emotional event while doing several rounds of the tapping sequence.  Check in after two or three rounds to measure the intensity of your feelings.  Notice what is different.  Continue if there is remaining anxiety.  You are aiming for 0, but getting down to 1 or 2 may be sufficient.

This is the short version of the tapping points sequence.  There are many variations based on the presenting problem.  YouTube has great footage of EFT demonstrations.

EFT for PTSD

An area where EFT has been working wonders is with our returning war veterans suffering post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).   Many vets suffer from hyper vigilance, anger, insomnia, emotional distancing, nightmares and flashbacks.  One organization, EFT Universe, filmed a documentary showing  how they work with veterans and their families.  The film, Operation Emotional Freedom the Answer" is graphically candid and demonstrates healing the physical symptoms of emotional trauma by tapping down the high levels of anger and frustration intensity.

The EFT Universe website has a wealth of information, practical applications, educational material and practitioner resources available for anyone who wants to learn more about EFT.

Is He Your True Love? One Way To Know For Sure

BA MVP - Be A More Vibrant in 2012

A daily 11 minute energizing routine of Breath, Affirmations, Meditation, Visualization and Progressive Relaxation and you will meet the day Bold, Awesome, Motivated, Vibrant and Powerful.
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Is He Your True Love?  One Way to Know for Sure

Close your eyes and visualize your perfect mate.  What features are you most attracted?  Dark, dreamy eyes or eyes with a twinkle in them; a strong masculine jaw?  Notice every detail in his face.

What Makes Us fall in Love

Studies of what makes us fall in love conclude that we are attracted to symmetry in the features of a face.  The perfect ratio of eyes to ears to mouth yields the ideal face in our standard of beauty.  But how many people have you found very attractive, but did not fall in love with?

So we know that there must be more to this equation.  Check out any online dating site and you will see the in depth questioning it takes to come up with a profile of a compatible partner.  You are asked to think about and provide preferences in appearance, background and education, values and beliefs, lifestyle etc. in hopes of finding that someone who is perfect for you.

A Visual Connection

But what if falling in love is not as complicated as we try to make it?  What if we instinctively know our true love just by looking at the features of his face?  A visual connection that gives an inner view of the thoughts, feelings and values of that certain someone.

According to the art of Face Reading we can.  Its principle is based on the ancient Chinese observations of nature and the human life cycle.  This circle of life, from beginning to end to beginning again, is the law that governs all life.  The Chinese defined the cycles in five stages or the Five Elements known as Water, Fire, Wood, Earth and Metal. 

Each element has an energy that is represented in each of us and has characteristics that reveal something about our personalities.  It is reflected in our face and our face tells who we are inside.

What Does His Face Tell You

Remember I asked you to visualize your perfect mate.  For illustration let us say his eyes have that dark, dreamy, mysterious look and his hair is wavy.  Those are Water characteristics.  This person's qualities include determination, courage, innate wisdom, creativity, a nurturing depth of feeling and a need to not be confined.

Let's say your ideal mate has sparkling eyes that seem to dance with light and has curly hair.  That's the Fire element.  He has a quick smile, loves excitement, upbeat personality and great at communicating.

Okay.  Your perfect mate with his strong, prominent jaw is a Wood energy.  This is the element of logic and structure.   He loves a good argument, needs to keep active, into outdoor and competitive team sports.

Look at His Eyes

When I first read this book on face reading, "The Wisdom of Your Face" by Jean Haner, I got an "aha" moment that helped me understand and appreciate my husband even more.

He has the soft dreamy eyes characteristic of the Water element.  At first sight they drew me right to him!  He is adventurous, goes by his inner map to explore the world, and knows exactly what to say when I'm not feeling confident.  There's some Fire in him too.  He loves to play and joke.  Perfect for me because I love to laugh.

And he has one Water characteristic that has caused me many frustrated, stressful moments over the years.  True to his element he is almost always late.  And he does not seem to do it purposely.  I have observed him leave the house at the same time he was supposed to arrive for an appointment.  Hard to figure.  Once I understood that time restrictions don't fit well with Water energy's need to flow, my "aha" moment allowed me to be more relaxed and not take it personal.

Did I forget to say that my energy is Metal?  I am organized, precise, creative, value beauty and to quote, "running late is not a Metal quality!"  Wow.  It just  goes to show that opposites attract.  And, like my husband and I, love happily ever after.  

   

Trouble Sleeping? The Top 5 remedies for a Good Night's Sleep

BAM VP - Be A More Vibrant Person in 2012

P is for progressive relaxation.  A technique of systemically tightening and relaxing each muscle group until your entire body is relaxed.  Feels like a deep muscle massage.  At the end of a long day progressive relaxation is an excellent sleep aid.
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Trouble Sleeping?  The Top 5 Remedies for a Good Night's Sleep

"Finish each day and be done with it.  You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can.  Tomorrow is a new day..." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

"It's 2 am.  Why can't I fall asleep?"  A recent study revealed that insomnia affects 6% to 10% of adults and is twice as common in women as men.  If you lie awake at night worrying about falling asleep your anxiety actually prevents you from doing so.  This internal dialogue becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

From time to time we all have bouts of insomnia.  A bad night once in a while is a normal part of life.  If your insomnia is a new situation or a chronic one, investigate the cause.  A new medication keeping you too alert to relax?  Diuretics or a more serious health problem causing frequent trips to the bathroom? Menopause with its erratic hormonal symptoms interrupting a woman's (and sometimes her husband's) sleep!   In these situations check with your doctor to determine if there is a need for treatment.

More often than not it is lifestyle, the hectic pace of too much to do and too little time to do it.  The stress of work, family and finances.  The anxiety spills into the bedroom and what should be a temporary problem falling asleep becomes a negative association with going to bed.  But with a few tweaks your bedroom can become a haven for rest and relaxation.

1. Think of your bedroom as your sanctuary.  Reframe your self-talk.  Instead of thinking, "I have to get some sleep tonight", put the emphasis on rest and relaxation.  Tell yourself, "I'm going to lie here and just relax tonight".  Give yourself permission to get a good night's rest.
2. Link bed time with your time to wind down.  Take a warm bath, sip herbal teas, read a book, spray a relaxing lavender or chamomile fragrance in your bedroom, play relaxing music.  Adjust the room temperature so it is not too hot or cold.  Block out light as much as possible and use a sleep mask to ensure total Zen. You may have to experiment to find what works best to relax you. 
3. Avoid all activities that may cause high anxiety.  Turn off the TV, nightly news.  Put away the laptop, iPad; turn off the phone and blackberry.  Avoid caffeine, alcohol consumption and aerobic exercises in the evening.
4. Stop the mind chatter and worry before you go to bed.  Set aside 15 to 20 minutes each night to write down everything that is stressing you.  Sit in a comfortable chair.  Set the timer.  When the time is up, put down the pen and put your problems away for the night.   Make a promise to yourself that the rest of the night is your time for relaxation.
5. *Progressive relaxation is one of the best techniques to channel your body's natural ability to calm down and fall asleep.  While lying in bed begin to slowly tense and relax each muscle group systematically from toe to head - or head to toe if that feels more natural.  Repeat at least once.  During the second round visualize yourself enjoying a deep massage of each muscle group.

Your bedroom is now your sanctuary.  Your bed...a place for relaxation and a good night's rest.


BAM VP - Breath, Affirmation, Meditation, Visualization, Progressive Relaxation

*Learn more relaxation techniques in my audio recording, "Just Relax Like This".
                     

Visualize Yourself Thin: 3 Essential Steps for Amazing Results

                                       BAMVP - Be A More Vibrant Person in 2012

V is for visualization.  Close your eyes and visualize a beautiful memory, proud moment, memorable vacation.  Make it real by noticing the colors sights, sound, and smells around you.  Visualization encourages the release of feel good endorphins.  Puts a smile on your lips.  Now open your eyes and have a great day!
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  Visualize Yourself Thin:  3 Essential Steps for Amazing Results

"If I Can See It, Then I Can Be It" - I Believe I Can Fly lyrics by R. Kelly

Do you visualize?  Daydreams, memories and inner talk are all types of visualization.  Imagine a goal that you want to attain.  Then program your vision to reach it.

The Carrot and the Stick

Your goal is to lose weight.  Specifically 20 pounds; or wear a size 8 again; or have enegy to play with your kids.  That's the carrot, your reward.  If you want to be successful in your endeavor you will have to acknowledge the reasons why you are pursuing this goal.

What was the incident, the last straw - "the stick" that set your plan in motion?  Was it a long look in the mirror, a hurtful remark directed at you or a medical issue that would disappear if you lose the weight?  Write it down and leave nothing out.  No one has to see this except you.  This is the motivation you will use again and again at those times when you are tempted to give in to cravings.

Picture Perfect Visual Aids

Find pictures of you at your ideal weight.  Place them everywhere.  On the refrigerator, bathroom mirror, iPhone, ipad, computer screensaver.  You could also use pictures of someone you believe ideal or even hang that size 8 outfit in full view.

This is not only about how you want to look.  It is also about how you want to feel.  Link positive affirmations to your visuals.  Think, "I can do this", "I look awesome" or whatever works for you.
Send love even to those parts you want to slim down!

Wait For It...

You knew this was coming.  Food and exercise.  What is your action plan to help make this weight loss happen?  Link lots of pleasure to this planning phase.  Visualize yourself selecting, preparing and eating healthy meals.  Picture yourself savoring and enjoying the feel and texture of the food in your mouth.  Adopt an "I eat only the best for my body" attitude.

You will want to give up foods that keep the weight on.  But take baby steps so you don't feel deprived.  For example, one less soda a day will save approximately 100 calories.

Exercise must be fun for you to stick it out.  So  visualize moving your body to something you enjoy and watching the pounds melt.  Dancing, jogging, biking or walking.  An extra 2000 steps a day will help maintain your new weight.

Now Visualize Yourself Thin

Visualizing is a powerful tool.  According to Emil Coue (who coined the phrase, "every day in every way I am getting better and better") "your thoughts become reality - you are what you think."  You will be using all that you have learned to so far to create an image using your sense of sight, touch, sound, smell and taste.

Set aside 5 minutes two to three times a day.  You can visualize while walking, exercising on the treadmill, sitting alone, in the morning or in the evening before falling asleep.  Visualize yourself already at your ideal weight.  Use your senses to bring the image alive.  Give it detail.  Are you wearing that size 8 dress looking proud and confident?  Strolling along the beach in your bikini turning heads?  Playing tag games with the kids with energy to spare?

Feel the air around you, the ground beneath you, the colors, sights and sounds you are experiencing. Visualize stepping into that picture and try it on for size.  Fall in love with your body again.  You are *BAMVP.  Bold, Awesome, Motivated, Vibrant and Powerful.


*See 11/2/10 post, "BAMVP Be A More Vibrant Person:  How to Fit Relaxation Into Your Busy Day"

Get to The Bottom of Addictive Behavior and Move On With Your Life

                                                    



 BAM VP - Be A More Vibrant Person in 2012!

M is for meditation.  Allow time for quiet introspection and problem solving.  Ease into it by daydreaming.  Gaze out a window and focus on your breathing.  While enjoying nature you are doing a form of meditation.  Your thoughts are in the moment.  Yesterday's worries and tomorrow's challenges do not exist.
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Get to the Bottom of Addictive Behavior and Move On With Your Life

"While we may not be able to control all that happens to us, we can control what happens inside us." -Benjamin Franklin

*Jennifer had a life most women would envy.  A beautiful home, well-behaved children and a husband who was a good provider.  She also had a self-indulgence that she kept secret.  It started with a glass of wine in the evening to relax after everyone had gone to bed.  She told herself that one or two can't hurt so she added one, then two during the day.  Eventually, the fear that she might be becoming an alcoholic began to alarm her.

Is Three Too Much?

Women who drink at home alone are more likely than others to later have drinking problems according to the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, a component of the National Institutes of Health.  Depression is closely linked to heavy drinking.  Among women who drink 13 percent have more than seven drinks per week.  A report from the Dietary Guidelines for Americans indicates this to be above the recommended limits for women based on the lower level of water in a woman's body to dilute alcohols effect.

Getting to the Bottom

Jennifer questioned why she was in such a self-destructive mode.  Meditation helped her probe deeply into her problem...take an honest look at what she was doing to herself and ultimately her family. 
Until recently she was the soccer mom.  Her identity wrapped around her children, their activities, their wants and needs.  However, as they grew older and more independent, they neither needed - nor wanted so much of her attention. 

She felt she no longer had an important role in life.  So who was she?  What was she supposed to do now?  Discontented with staying at home but afraid to venture into the job market made her feel more depressed.  She finally resolved to start doing things for herself that would boost her self-esteem.

The **BAMVP stress reduction techniques and "time for me" getaways allowed her to reflect on who she was and what she wanted out of life.  She joined a fun exercise activity - belly dancing; registered with a temp work agency to brush up on her job skills and ease back into the workforce.  Best of all Jennifer renewed a past passion when she enrolled in a series of art workshops.

Stress Plays a Role in Addictive Behavior

One of the reasons people drink, overeat, chain smoke, gamble compulsively, etc., is to help cope with stress.  For people like Jennifer, getting to the bottom, uncovering the core issue, is all that is needed to begin to move on.  Others may have to hit rock bottom, what I call the "Popeye fed up mode" of "That's all I can stand and I can't stands no more!"  That's when they move to action and seek help.
Counseling, outreach groups like AA, Gamblers Anonymous, over eaters programs, and faith help them to move on with life.

When you deal with what is causing the stress in your life, the addictive behavior becomes manageable.  And for some like Jennifer, no longer necessary.

*From the book, "When You Need a Timeout."

**Breath, Affirmations, Meditation, Visualization, Progressive Relaxation.  See 11/2/10 blog post "BAMVP Be A More Vibrant Person: How to Fit Relaxation Into Your Busy Day."

5 Strategies That Help You Stop Smoking for Good

                                BAM VP - Be A More Vibrant Person in 2012
A is for Affirmations.  Positive thoughts about yourself to yourself will lift your spirits and strengthen your resolve.  Take a look at the tasks ahead of you this day.  State your intention to succeed in all your challenges.  Make your affirmations fit your lifestyle.  Make a daily commitment to BAM VP every day and rediscover your joy of living.  Seize the day!
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                 5 Strategies That Help You Stop Smoking for Good

"When it is obvious that the goals cannot be reached, don't adjust the goal, adjust the action steps." - Confucius

You resolved to stop smoking in 2012.  Here it is week two and you haven't had a cigarette.  Congratulations!  It's no secret that stopping is one of the most challenging things you will ever do.  According to the National Institutes of Health an estimated 85 percent of smokers have tried to quit or would like to quit.  So when you find your resolve wavering, don't give in.  Just recheck your strategy.


Understand Why You Smoke

There are many reasons why people smoke.  Some say it is relaxing, or creates a sense of comfort from anxiety or boredom, helps gain acceptance with peers, or they love the rush euphoria smoking provides.  So why do you want to stop?  Write down all the reasons you don't like smoking.  Then add this to your stop smoking list, "Because I know that one day this habit will betray me and destroy my health."

Replace the Smoking Habit with a Healthy Habit

When you stop smoking you take away a familiar routine you have lived with for some time. You leave a void that cigarette smoking will quickly reclaim if you don't find a replacement.

Take the initiative and identify healthy alternatives that work for you.  For example, the person who gets a rush from smoking can get that euphoric feeling from exercising, jogging, brisk walks or playing sports.   The bored person needs activities that stimulate the mind such as puzzles, games of strategy, Sudoku, educational pursuits or creative interests.  The healthy alternative for the person who smokes to relax is obvious.  The *BAM VP relaxation techniques are the most effective way to relax muscle tension and produce feelings of serenity and calm.

Change Your Routine and Cigarette Associations

To quit successfully you have to change the connections you associate with smoking.  For example, if you associate the first breath of the morning with a cigarette, or you enjoy a cigarette with your coffee, what will you do to change?  One suggestion is to drink a full glass of water first thing in the morning.  Take your coffee on the patio instead of the kitchen.  Small changes break your routine.  It is up to you to have choices available to create these new connections.

Reward Yourself Often Throughout Your Stop Smoking Campaign
Link some pleasure and excitement to your campaign to stop smoking by rewarding yourself every time your reach a milestone.  Think of a treat you really want - and get it.  New shoes, jewelry, a new putter, movie, CD, book, spa treatment.  The best part is you will be using the money you saved not buying cigarettes!

Don't Let Other People's Smoke Bother You
If seeing other people smoke is your trigger then this advice may seem contradictory.  But in order to quit for good you have to face your fear of temptation.   At some point deliberately expose yourself to other people's smoke. You know by now that cigarette smoke smells a lot better than it tastes going down your lungs.  Use your stop smoking list to arm yourself with strong convictions and affirmations.  Recognize that this is a test that you are determined to ace.  By actively courting each temptation and winning you be adding new strategies that strengthen your resolve to quit.  You will become more confident with each victory and prepared for the next test of your will.

Mercifully after the ten days or so the urge to smoke will come less frequently.  But it will pounce out of the blue when you least expect it.  And when it does you will be a formidable foe with all the strategies and coping skills you need to handle and defeat these last remnants of the urge to smoke.
These are the strategies that worked for me and I have not had a cigarette nor desire for over 20 years!

If you need additional help quitting there are on-line stop smoking programs, like QuitNet and The American Lung Associations that provide free help for people trying to kick the habit.

*BAM VP - Breath work, Affirmations, Meditation, Visualization, Progressive Relaxation. See 11/2/10 blog, "Be A More Vibrant Person: How To Fit Relaxation Into Your Busy Day"