Why Celebrate Women’s History Month?

 

 

Let’s look at the history.  For over a century women have been in the forefront, struggling and strategizing for fair treatment in their public and private lives.  Spent stress-filled, anxious hours envisioning a day when they would enjoy the rights all Americans should have. 

Persistent efforts paid off.  Landmark decisions have been handed down regarding the right to vote, equal educational opportunities, birth control, domestic violence and consumer credit practices.

The struggle to end discrimination in the workplace however has been a seemingly insurmountable saga.  In 1961 President Kennedy established the President’s Commission on the Status of Women chaired by Eleanor Roosevelt.   The Commission issued a report in 1963 documenting substantial discrimination against women in the workplace.   The recommendations included fair hiring practices, paid maternity leave and affordable child care that led to: 

·         1963 – Equal Pay Act.  Title VII bars discrimination on the basis of race and sex.

·         1968 – EEOC ruled sex-segregated help wanted ads in newspapers are illegal.  Women can apply for higher paying jobs previously only open to men.

·         1970 - Schultz v. Wheaton Glass Co.  – U.S. Court of Appeals ruled employers cannot change job titles of women workers in order to pay them less than men

·         1974 – Corning Glass Works v. Brennan – U.S. Supreme Court ruled employers cannot justify paying women lower wages because of going market rate.  In other words, a wage differential “simply because men would not work at the low rates paid women” is unacceptable.

·         1978 - Pregnancy Discrimination Act – A woman cannot be fired or denied jobs or promotions because she is or may become pregnant, nor forced to take pregnancy leave if she is willing and able to work.

·         1986 - Meritor Savings Bank v.  Vinson – The Supreme Court finds that sexual harassment is a form of illegal job discrimination.

• 1993 - Family Leave Act - Federal law requiring covered employers to provide employees job-protected and unpaid leave for qualified medical and family reasons.  Includes personal or family illness, family military leave, pregnancy, adoption or the foster care placement of a child.

But it does not end there.  The struggle for parity in the workplace spans four decades.   Fast forward to the 21st Century.

• 2009 - President Obama signed the Lily Ledbetter Fair Pay Restoration Act allowing victims of pay discrimination to file a complaint with the government.  Named after a Goodyear employee who alleged and later proved that she was paid 15-40% less than male counterparts.

Women continue to be in the forefront of the struggle for their rights.    This legacy of faith, hope and strength continues with each generation of daughters and has influenced women all over the world.   A proud legacy with impressive gains.  That’s why we celebrate Women’s History Month.

More Than Willpower: How to Break an Unhealthy Habit

More Than Willpower:  How to Break an Unhealthy Habit

"...Understand your actions, for they become habits.  Study your habits, for they become your character..." - Oliver Wendell Holmes

Why do I keep doing this to myself?  Whether it's overeating, not exercising, smoking too much or biting your nails.   You know it's not healthy.  But all your efforts to break the habit by sheer will have left you stressed and exhausted.  And eventually they failed.

Here's why.  Habits form on a subconscious level.  Often as a learned response to stress.  The habit supports, calms and sooths you.  The reward is a chemical release of dopamine - the natural high runners often talk about.  Repeating the behavior delivers the same pleasurable reward.  The brain reverts to the learned response making it automatic.

Willpower may interrupt this automatic response temporarily.   But to make a lasting change you must create a new healthy habit to take the place of the old ingrained habit.   To be successful it is essential you know the answers to the following:

Why Change the Habit

Know your motivation to change.   You have to have a compelling "why".   Ask yourself, "Why make the change now?  What gives me the determination to change?  What will I gain?  What will happen if I don't change?"

What Triggers the Habit

Understand your pattern:  What triggers the habit i.e., where are you, who are you with and what are you doing?  What is pleasant and unpleasant about the habit?  What's in it for you besides the feel good "rush"?

How to Link the New Habit to a Reward

What healthy habit can you create to replace the unhealthy habit and get similar rewards, satisfaction?  You must enjoy the change as something that brings joy in your life.  Give yourself small rewards often to link pleasure to your new behavior.  Because if it doesn't feel good, permanent change won't happen.

When Will the New Habit Stick

Studies show it takes from 21-28 days to make new pathways in the brain for a new habit to become ingrained.  To make it "stick" the new habit needs practice, consistency, focus and repetition for it to become automatic.

The only thing left for you to do is mark your calendar for day 1:

• Post your motivation and rewards list everywhere for continued incentive.
• Get support from family, friends, role models for positive reinforcement if you need it.
• Avoid temptation - the old triggers - until you feel strong enough.
• Give yourself small rewards often.  Factor in a long term reward to celebrate your success.

Finally, to ensure long term results, visualize the new you repelling the unhealthy habit and replacing it with the healthy habit. Several times a day.  Be consistent.  Every day for the next 28 days.



Your comments:  What if anything did you do to overcome an unhealthy habit?  What worked?

Give Me A Break: 7 Resources that Make Life Easier for Caregivers

Give Me A Break:  7 Resources that Make Life Easier for Caregivers


"I must do something' always solves more problems than 'Something must be done'". - Unknown Author

Julia, a divorcee was one of the "sandwich generation" balancing life between an adult child who had come back home to live and aging parents who need more of her time and resources.  Between the two, it was worry about the failing health and ongoing care of her parents that caused the most stress.

And it was not just the finances - although she did not know where the money for their care would come from.  Signs of deterioration showed they could not live alone much longer.   And Julia knew she would not be able to shoulder the burden of full-time caregiver if they moved in with her.

The weight of having all the decision-making fall on her shoulders - some of it crucial when it came to her parents future needs - was making Julia feel overwhelmed and emotionally drained.  She did not know where to begin to turn for help.

Caregivers Are...

Caregiver is the term for anyone who looks after a person who needs assistance with daily tasks.  Whether you move your loved ones into your home or keep them in their house, caregivers report that the daily challenges will leave you feeling guilty because of the anger, frustration and sometimes loss of patience you feel.  You begin to feel there is no escape.   It becomes even more complicated if the loved one suffers from dementia and Alzheimer's disease.

Fortunately there are agencies and community organization with services that can make life easier.  Senior Centers offer meals and activities and some medical care.  Senior Corps sends volunteers age 55 or older to visit the elderly at home.   Occupational therapist can evaluate a home and recommend safety improvements such as grab bars in the bath tub as well as help the elderly improve their balance and strength.

Resources That Make Life Easier

Research in the June 2012 AARP Magazine offers an extensive list of resources including:

1. AARP'S Caregiving Resource Center at www.aarp.org/caregivers.
2. Your local Area Agency on Aging (AAA) for living options your loved one may be entitled to www.n4a.org.
3. SNAP for Seniors lists residential facilities on its website www.snapforseniors.com.
4. The National Association for Home Care & Hospice lists home-care agencies on its website www.nahc.org.
5. Leading Age represents not-for-profit senior residences on its website www.leadingage.org.
6. Medicare's website ranks local nursing homes and health agencies www.medicare.gov.
7. Geriatric-care managers help with all aspects of caring for older adults www.caremanager.org.

After researching her options, Julia got help for her parents by working with community agencies in her area.   They also steered her toward programs that help relieve some of the financial costs.  On her own Julia explored The National Council on Aging website for sources of government aid www.benefitscheckup.org.

For more comprehensive information and resources that make life easier for caregivers, AARP's Caregiving Resource Center at www.aarp.org/caregivers  is a one-stop shop.. 

A 5 Minute Morning Meditation to Lift Your Spirits and Put a Smile on Your Face

BAM VP - Be A More Vibrant Person in 2012
A daily energizing routine of Breath work, Affirmations, Meditation, Visualization and Progressive Relaxation will help you meet each day more Bold, Awesome, Motivated, Vibrant and Powerful.
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A 5 Minute Morning Meditation to Lift Your Spirits and Put a Smile on Your Face

"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony." - Mahatma Gandhi

Set your alarm five minutes earlier tomorrow.  When you get up, find a quiet place to sit and gaze out a window.  Look up at the sky.   Really notice the color and expanse.   Follow the shape and movement of the clouds.

Let your thoughts drift as you enjoy the morning stillness.  This is your time to focus on what is good in your life - not the worries of yesterday, today or tomorrow.

Begin your meditation by focusing on your breathing.   The rhythmic rise and fall of your breath.  Since breathing has a strong effect on emotional change, it is a natural bridge to begin to meditate.  Slow measured breathing has a calming effect.

Gently close your eyes and tune into your body.   A word will come to you that describes what you are feeling.  Calm, relaxed, peaceful, happy, confident.  That is your relaxation keyword.  Spread the word throughout your body.  From the top of your head to the tip of your toes.

Put your relaxation keyword in a phrase that inspires you to handle stress differently today.  For example, "I am calm and relaxed" when you are feeling tense and anxious.  Use this phrase whenever you need it throughout the day.

*Inhale slowly and  mentally repeat, "I live with a happy heart, a peaceful mind and a playful spirit".  Stay with it for a minute or two.  Inhale deeply and in the privacy of your own mind quietly shout, "I deserve health and happiness!"

Just before you are ready to open your eyes, begin to stimulate that positive energy that is a smile by recalling something you enjoy.  Something that makes you feel good.  Let the corners of your mouth turn up.  Smile.  Send this smiling energy into every bone and every organ and every nerve and every cell in your body.

Now take that smiling energy up into your heart.

Decide what you would like to take with you into your day.  Something of a positive, inspiring nature.  Open your eyes and start a day you look forward to!


*From Quantum Focusing - Finding the Zone by Michael Ellner and Alan Barsky.

Is It Stress or Burnout? 7 Signs You Should Know

Is It Stress or Burnout?  7 Signs You Should Know

BAM VP - Be A More Vibrant Person in 2012
A daily energizing routine of Breath work, Affirmations, Meditation, Visualization and Progressive Relaxation will help you meet each day Bold, Awesome, Motivated, Vibrant and Powerful
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"Simplicity means taking charge of a life that is too busy, too stressed, and too fragmented...focusing on the essentials - whatever those may be for each of our unique lives" - Duane Elgin


One third of Americans live with extreme stress, naming money and work as the leading cause.  Stress is a significant reason for problems with family and friends.  Eight percent connect stress to divorce or separation.  These are the statistics reported by the American Psychological Association.

Anyone can suffer from stress or burnout.  From the frazzled office worker putting in late hours, to the frenetic homemaker struggling with children or caregiving, to the Type A personality with control issues.

Stress is About Too Much Pressure and Responsibility

You are expected to be too many things to too many people.  Symptoms include feeling irritable, fatigued, frustrated, overwhelmed.  Physically your body aches and your blood pressure is up.  Despite this, you still feel optimistic that if you can just get things under control everything will work out.

The good news is stress is easier to handle at this stage - before it becomes chronic.

Burnout is About Having Too Little Left to Give

It is the more intense form of stress.  Symptoms include feeling empty, helpless, hopeless.  Loss of motivation and interest.  Feeling nothing you do is appreciated or makes a difference.  Problems seem overwhelming and you are unable to meet the demands. 

Because burnout is gradual, you may not realize you are past the breaking point until it is too late.
In the early stages stress reduction strategies may be enough.  Though it will take a good amount of time and effort.  If symptoms persist or become worse, however, it is best to see a doctor.

7 Signs of Stress                                 7 Signs of Burnout

Over engagement (doing too much)    Disengagement (not worth it)
Over reactive (hypersensitive)             Emotions blunted (past caring)
Urgency and hyperactivity                   Helplessness and hopelessness
Loss of energy                                     Loss of motivation, ideas, hope
Anxiety disorders                                 Detachment and depression
Primary damage is physical                  Primary damage is emotional
May kill you prematurely                      Life seems not worth living

Source: Stress and burnout ministry

What You Can Do for Relief

• At work:  speak with your boss to clarify job description, renegotiate new job duties.  Give yourself a break and take time off when needed.
• At home:  set boundaries, learn to say no and get help where needed.  Carve out daily "me time" to relax.
• For the high achieving Type A personality:  take a break from the laptop, email, Blackberry.  Find a fun project, hobby or other non-work related activity to get away from responsibilities.

Begin to understand that stress management and relaxation are a vital part of your physical and emotional fitness.  Learn breathing routines, affirmations, meditation, visualization and progressive relaxation to find what works for your lifestyle.  Take a "time out", eat healthy, exercise and get plenty of rest.  Finally, reassess your goals, simplify your life and rediscover what what makes you happy.

3 Ways to Conquer Procrastination

"Procrastination is my sin.  It brings me naught but sorrow.  I know that I should stop it.  In fact, I will - tomorrow!" - Gloria Pitzer

Ah, spring time.  People feel motivated to get out and get things done.  But not you.  You are a procrastinator and to you spring means more chores to add to your to-do list.  You'd rather put things off until tomorrow.

You were the student who started your book report the night before it was due.   You spent an extra year in college because your term assignments were never in on time.  Today you are the adult who puts in long hours at work.  You hope your boss believes the late hours are part of your work ethic.  The truth is you hate to tackle those reports so you struggle to get through your workload.

Feel My Pain

Fears of failure, success or rejection are the leading reasons most people procrastinate.  You don't know if that describes your reluctance.  All you know is that procrastination is a bad habit that has not served you well up to this point.   You are always playing catch up because whatever you put off today just adds to your list tomorrow.

There is a voice in your head constantly nagging you to get started.  Roll up your sleeves and do the chore whether you like it or not.   You want to change.  But how do you get started when you don't want to do it in the first place?

1. Anchor in Motivation

 Negative self-talk like, "I don't want to do this" or "Do I have to do this" is counter-productive.  Certainly not motivating.  Changing your self-talk to "I want to do this" or "I choose to do this" is an easy way to start.

Use the *NLP technique of "anchoring" to install feelings of excitement, success, motivation, pride and other positive emotions to a sight, sound or part of your body. Your ear lobe for example.  Now any time you start a task that is distasteful to you, touch your earlobe.  This will trigger those positive feelings you installed.  You will automatically feel motivated to begin.

2.  Give Your Task a Timeline

Research suggests that the unconscious mind nags until you make a plan, timeline or deadline.  Once the task has some structure your unconscious is satisfied that it is done and you will relieve some of the stress.

Spring is also tax season so let's use that example.  It is a complex, overwhelming task you dread doing.  It usually means an all-nighter just going through your papers, notes and receipts.  Pledging to start your income tax preparation today will satisfy the first step in structuring a plan.  You have given a timeline.

3.  Start With Small Steps

Deconstruct any project into smaller tasks that you can complete in a reasonable time.  Let us apply this to your income taxes.  You have approximately four weeks before the filing deadline.  If you break it down to weekly tasks it will look something like this:

• Week one - gather all receipts, papers etc.  Do a thorough search.  Place them all in one box, folder or stack.  Task completed.
• Week two - Separate and put receipts in tax categories.  Example, income, business expenses, charitable donations, etc.  Task completed.
• Week three - Total items in each category.  Look for any receipts etc., you may have missed to add to these totals.  Task completed.
• Week four - Transfer your totals to your tax form.  Mail in your tax return.

Feel My Pleasure

Taxes done and filed on time.  You feel a sense of pride and relief as you check this off your to-do list.  Best of all you now have a plan to overcome procrastination in all your future projects.


*Learn more about Anchoring (NLP) at Wikipedia.org.  View Anchoring (NLP) video demonstrations on YouTube.  NLP is the abbreviation for Neuro Linguistic Programming.

Empowering Self-Talk: How to Make Affirmations That Inspire Change

BA MVP - Be A More Vibrant Person in 2012
A daily energizing routine of Breath work, Affirmations, Meditation, Visualization and Progressive Relaxation will help you meet each day Bold, Awesome, Motivated, Vibrant and Powerful.
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Empowering Self-Talk:  How to Make Affirmations That Inspire Change

"Change Your Thoughts and Change Your World" - Norman Vincent Peale

"Every day in every way I am getting better and better".  You probably heard this famous  affirmation popularized in the 1920's by Emil Coue, a French pharmacist and psychologist.  After observing his patients heal faster when they focused their mind on positive healing images, Coue developed this therapeutic method he called optimistic autosuggestion.  His belief that, "you are what you think" proved to have great success in rehabilitating the thousands of patients he treated each year.

You might ask what makes this deceptively simple affirmation so powerful.  And how can I duplicate it?

• Start with the area you want to work on.  Emil Coue addressed the health concerns of people who were ill and wanted to get well.  Your challenge may be with finances, career, family, relationships, physical or emotional health, etc.  Define your source of stress.
• Make your affirmation simple and specific.  Coue's autosuggestion is a simply stated imagery for healing.  Yours may contain specific relaxation instructions, or suggestions for improved self esteem or a mantra for success.  Make sure it describes exactly what you want to achieve.   For example you want to ask for a raise, "I am clear and direct asking my boss for a raise".
• Powerful affirmations are positive and carefully expressed.  Phrase them as if they are occurring now.  Notice Coue says, "I am getting better and better."   Avoid negative statements.  For example instead of "I will not be nervous asking for a raise".   Use a positive version such as "I am letting go of tension when I talk to my boss" or I am calm and assertive asking for a raise".
• An affirmation works best when combined with an image or mental picture.  So write it down, close your eyes and visualize the touch, taste and feel of the change you want to create.
• Repeat your affirmation throughout the day, every day.  The more you say it the more connected it becomes to your desired outcome.  Routine repetition was an important part of Coue's method.  He recommended his patients repeat "Every day in every way I am getting better and better" upon awakening, throughout the day and before going to sleep at night.  When he put the power of healing into the hands of his patients Coue had great success curing them of illness and disease.

Affirmations are good for your mental health.  Evidence proves that serotonin and endorphins, those feel good hormones, are released when we focus on positive thoughts.  This scientifically based evidence works even if you are a skeptic.

So take a cue from Emil Coue.  Practice positive thinking.  Make  affirmations that work to improve your life.  You have nothing to lose but time and everything to gain.  Like a happier outlook on life, less anxiety, and better health.  The power to change is in you.

EFT: What Is It, And Why Should You Care?

          BA MVP - Be A More Vibrant Person in 2012
A daily energizing routine of Breath work, Affirmations, Meditation, Visualization and Progressive Relaxation to meet the day Bold, Awesome, Motivated, Vibrant and Powerful.
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EFT:  What Is It and Why Should You Care?

"...It is our relationship to fear that determines the choices we make.  By changing our relationship to fear, we reduce its credibility, robbing it of its power... - Thom Rutledge

Your boss has asked you to make a speech for him at the next board meeting.   You graciously accept.   But inside you are freaking out  You are terrified of speaking in public.  Every time you think about it your heart pounds and you get a sick feeling in the pit of your stomach.  The stress is causing you sleepless nights.  Is there any way to handle this panicky feeling so you can make the speech?

Emotional Freedom Technique

Here is where EFT comes in.  Founded by Gary Craig in the mid 90's, EFT is an acronym for Emotional Freedom Technique.  It is a self-help procedure for quickly releasing emotional distress and traumatic memories by neutralizing the fears and phobias that trigger them.  The end product is to defuse the emotional charge so the distress or trauma no longer has power over us.

EFT has  been used to alleviate performance anxiety, fear of heights, panic attacks, sports performance, cravings and compulsions animal phobias and more.  Its ability to enhance the outcome on health issues, psychological problems and performance issues has been scientifically studied and presented in peer review journals, research and outcome studies.  EFT success stories have been reported on TV, magazine and newspaper articles.

So Easy You Can Do It

EFT is easy to learn and apply.  You use your finger to gently tap on points of the body.  The impact is similar to acupuncture but without the needles.  The best part is you can do it yourself in minutes and get results even with no understanding of the process:

1. Measure the intensity of the feeling associated with a bad memory.  Using a scale of 1 to 10. 10 being the highest.
2. Setup phrase - Tapping the Karate Chop (side of hand), state the problem and include an affirmation about you.  Example, "Even though I have this fear about speaking in public, I love and completely accept myself."  Pairing exposure to the traumatic ordeal with self-acceptance is a well-researched psychological technique.
3. The sequence of tapping points - (1) Top of head (2) Inner eyebrow (3) Side of eye (4) Under eye (5) Under nose (6) Chin (7) Collarbone (8) Under arm.

Repeat stating the emotional event while doing several rounds of the tapping sequence.  Check in after two or three rounds to measure the intensity of your feelings.  Notice what is different.  Continue if there is remaining anxiety.  You are aiming for 0, but getting down to 1 or 2 may be sufficient.

This is the short version of the tapping points sequence.  There are many variations based on the presenting problem.  YouTube has great footage of EFT demonstrations.

EFT for PTSD

An area where EFT has been working wonders is with our returning war veterans suffering post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).   Many vets suffer from hyper vigilance, anger, insomnia, emotional distancing, nightmares and flashbacks.  One organization, EFT Universe, filmed a documentary showing  how they work with veterans and their families.  The film, Operation Emotional Freedom the Answer" is graphically candid and demonstrates healing the physical symptoms of emotional trauma by tapping down the high levels of anger and frustration intensity.

The EFT Universe website has a wealth of information, practical applications, educational material and practitioner resources available for anyone who wants to learn more about EFT.