More Than Willpower: How to Break an Unhealthy Habit

More Than Willpower:  How to Break an Unhealthy Habit

"...Understand your actions, for they become habits.  Study your habits, for they become your character..." - Oliver Wendell Holmes

Why do I keep doing this to myself?  Whether it's overeating, not exercising, smoking too much or biting your nails.   You know it's not healthy.  But all your efforts to break the habit by sheer will have left you stressed and exhausted.  And eventually they failed.

Here's why.  Habits form on a subconscious level.  Often as a learned response to stress.  The habit supports, calms and sooths you.  The reward is a chemical release of dopamine - the natural high runners often talk about.  Repeating the behavior delivers the same pleasurable reward.  The brain reverts to the learned response making it automatic.

Willpower may interrupt this automatic response temporarily.   But to make a lasting change you must create a new healthy habit to take the place of the old ingrained habit.   To be successful it is essential you know the answers to the following:

Why Change the Habit

Know your motivation to change.   You have to have a compelling "why".   Ask yourself, "Why make the change now?  What gives me the determination to change?  What will I gain?  What will happen if I don't change?"

What Triggers the Habit

Understand your pattern:  What triggers the habit i.e., where are you, who are you with and what are you doing?  What is pleasant and unpleasant about the habit?  What's in it for you besides the feel good "rush"?

How to Link the New Habit to a Reward

What healthy habit can you create to replace the unhealthy habit and get similar rewards, satisfaction?  You must enjoy the change as something that brings joy in your life.  Give yourself small rewards often to link pleasure to your new behavior.  Because if it doesn't feel good, permanent change won't happen.

When Will the New Habit Stick

Studies show it takes from 21-28 days to make new pathways in the brain for a new habit to become ingrained.  To make it "stick" the new habit needs practice, consistency, focus and repetition for it to become automatic.

The only thing left for you to do is mark your calendar for day 1:

• Post your motivation and rewards list everywhere for continued incentive.
• Get support from family, friends, role models for positive reinforcement if you need it.
• Avoid temptation - the old triggers - until you feel strong enough.
• Give yourself small rewards often.  Factor in a long term reward to celebrate your success.

Finally, to ensure long term results, visualize the new you repelling the unhealthy habit and replacing it with the healthy habit. Several times a day.  Be consistent.  Every day for the next 28 days.



Your comments:  What if anything did you do to overcome an unhealthy habit?  What worked?

Don't Worry, Be Happy - Your Choice

BAM VP - Be A More Vibrant Person in 2012
A daily energizing routine of Breath work, Affirmations, Meditation, Visualization and Progressive Relaxation will help you be your best every day: Bold, Awesome, Motivated, Vibrant and Powerful.
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Don't Worry, Be Happy - Your Choice

"Keep your mind on the things you want and off the things you don't want." - Hannah Whitall Smith


You can create a happier, healthier outlook by choosing to celebrate the joy in your life rather than despair.   Here's a tip or two:

• Replace negative thinking with self-affirming thoughts.  The next time you are beating yourself up over something you did or something done to you - STOP.  Instead think of a compliment, thoughtfulness or kind word someone gave you.  Remember the times you coped with a difficult situation and succeeded.  Overwhelm and collapse negative thinking by stacking and accentuating the positive moments in your life.

• Do something special each day just for you.   Buy yourself flowers.   Listen to music that lifts your mood and brings back fond memories.  Get out and walk, hike, bike and enjoy nature.  Interact with a child.  Lend a helping hand and feel great.  Be silly and share a laugh with family and friends (laughter is the ultimate mood lifter).  Pursue a goal or hobby.  Create something with your hands.  Buy something new.  Meet a friend for lunch.   Get a massage.  The list is limited only by your imagination.

Each day is a brand new opportunity to improve something in your life.   And at the end of the day, the ability to be happy is yours to choose.

A 5 Minute Morning Meditation to Lift Your Spirits and Put a Smile on Your Face

BAM VP - Be A More Vibrant Person in 2012
A daily energizing routine of Breath work, Affirmations, Meditation, Visualization and Progressive Relaxation will help you meet each day more Bold, Awesome, Motivated, Vibrant and Powerful.
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A 5 Minute Morning Meditation to Lift Your Spirits and Put a Smile on Your Face

"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony." - Mahatma Gandhi

Set your alarm five minutes earlier tomorrow.  When you get up, find a quiet place to sit and gaze out a window.  Look up at the sky.   Really notice the color and expanse.   Follow the shape and movement of the clouds.

Let your thoughts drift as you enjoy the morning stillness.  This is your time to focus on what is good in your life - not the worries of yesterday, today or tomorrow.

Begin your meditation by focusing on your breathing.   The rhythmic rise and fall of your breath.  Since breathing has a strong effect on emotional change, it is a natural bridge to begin to meditate.  Slow measured breathing has a calming effect.

Gently close your eyes and tune into your body.   A word will come to you that describes what you are feeling.  Calm, relaxed, peaceful, happy, confident.  That is your relaxation keyword.  Spread the word throughout your body.  From the top of your head to the tip of your toes.

Put your relaxation keyword in a phrase that inspires you to handle stress differently today.  For example, "I am calm and relaxed" when you are feeling tense and anxious.  Use this phrase whenever you need it throughout the day.

*Inhale slowly and  mentally repeat, "I live with a happy heart, a peaceful mind and a playful spirit".  Stay with it for a minute or two.  Inhale deeply and in the privacy of your own mind quietly shout, "I deserve health and happiness!"

Just before you are ready to open your eyes, begin to stimulate that positive energy that is a smile by recalling something you enjoy.  Something that makes you feel good.  Let the corners of your mouth turn up.  Smile.  Send this smiling energy into every bone and every organ and every nerve and every cell in your body.

Now take that smiling energy up into your heart.

Decide what you would like to take with you into your day.  Something of a positive, inspiring nature.  Open your eyes and start a day you look forward to!


*From Quantum Focusing - Finding the Zone by Michael Ellner and Alan Barsky.

Empowering Self-Talk: How to Make Affirmations That Inspire Change

BA MVP - Be A More Vibrant Person in 2012
A daily energizing routine of Breath work, Affirmations, Meditation, Visualization and Progressive Relaxation will help you meet each day Bold, Awesome, Motivated, Vibrant and Powerful.
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Empowering Self-Talk:  How to Make Affirmations That Inspire Change

"Change Your Thoughts and Change Your World" - Norman Vincent Peale

"Every day in every way I am getting better and better".  You probably heard this famous  affirmation popularized in the 1920's by Emil Coue, a French pharmacist and psychologist.  After observing his patients heal faster when they focused their mind on positive healing images, Coue developed this therapeutic method he called optimistic autosuggestion.  His belief that, "you are what you think" proved to have great success in rehabilitating the thousands of patients he treated each year.

You might ask what makes this deceptively simple affirmation so powerful.  And how can I duplicate it?

• Start with the area you want to work on.  Emil Coue addressed the health concerns of people who were ill and wanted to get well.  Your challenge may be with finances, career, family, relationships, physical or emotional health, etc.  Define your source of stress.
• Make your affirmation simple and specific.  Coue's autosuggestion is a simply stated imagery for healing.  Yours may contain specific relaxation instructions, or suggestions for improved self esteem or a mantra for success.  Make sure it describes exactly what you want to achieve.   For example you want to ask for a raise, "I am clear and direct asking my boss for a raise".
• Powerful affirmations are positive and carefully expressed.  Phrase them as if they are occurring now.  Notice Coue says, "I am getting better and better."   Avoid negative statements.  For example instead of "I will not be nervous asking for a raise".   Use a positive version such as "I am letting go of tension when I talk to my boss" or I am calm and assertive asking for a raise".
• An affirmation works best when combined with an image or mental picture.  So write it down, close your eyes and visualize the touch, taste and feel of the change you want to create.
• Repeat your affirmation throughout the day, every day.  The more you say it the more connected it becomes to your desired outcome.  Routine repetition was an important part of Coue's method.  He recommended his patients repeat "Every day in every way I am getting better and better" upon awakening, throughout the day and before going to sleep at night.  When he put the power of healing into the hands of his patients Coue had great success curing them of illness and disease.

Affirmations are good for your mental health.  Evidence proves that serotonin and endorphins, those feel good hormones, are released when we focus on positive thoughts.  This scientifically based evidence works even if you are a skeptic.

So take a cue from Emil Coue.  Practice positive thinking.  Make  affirmations that work to improve your life.  You have nothing to lose but time and everything to gain.  Like a happier outlook on life, less anxiety, and better health.  The power to change is in you.

Visualize Yourself Thin: 3 Essential Steps for Amazing Results

                                       BAMVP - Be A More Vibrant Person in 2012

V is for visualization.  Close your eyes and visualize a beautiful memory, proud moment, memorable vacation.  Make it real by noticing the colors sights, sound, and smells around you.  Visualization encourages the release of feel good endorphins.  Puts a smile on your lips.  Now open your eyes and have a great day!
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  Visualize Yourself Thin:  3 Essential Steps for Amazing Results

"If I Can See It, Then I Can Be It" - I Believe I Can Fly lyrics by R. Kelly

Do you visualize?  Daydreams, memories and inner talk are all types of visualization.  Imagine a goal that you want to attain.  Then program your vision to reach it.

The Carrot and the Stick

Your goal is to lose weight.  Specifically 20 pounds; or wear a size 8 again; or have enegy to play with your kids.  That's the carrot, your reward.  If you want to be successful in your endeavor you will have to acknowledge the reasons why you are pursuing this goal.

What was the incident, the last straw - "the stick" that set your plan in motion?  Was it a long look in the mirror, a hurtful remark directed at you or a medical issue that would disappear if you lose the weight?  Write it down and leave nothing out.  No one has to see this except you.  This is the motivation you will use again and again at those times when you are tempted to give in to cravings.

Picture Perfect Visual Aids

Find pictures of you at your ideal weight.  Place them everywhere.  On the refrigerator, bathroom mirror, iPhone, ipad, computer screensaver.  You could also use pictures of someone you believe ideal or even hang that size 8 outfit in full view.

This is not only about how you want to look.  It is also about how you want to feel.  Link positive affirmations to your visuals.  Think, "I can do this", "I look awesome" or whatever works for you.
Send love even to those parts you want to slim down!

Wait For It...

You knew this was coming.  Food and exercise.  What is your action plan to help make this weight loss happen?  Link lots of pleasure to this planning phase.  Visualize yourself selecting, preparing and eating healthy meals.  Picture yourself savoring and enjoying the feel and texture of the food in your mouth.  Adopt an "I eat only the best for my body" attitude.

You will want to give up foods that keep the weight on.  But take baby steps so you don't feel deprived.  For example, one less soda a day will save approximately 100 calories.

Exercise must be fun for you to stick it out.  So  visualize moving your body to something you enjoy and watching the pounds melt.  Dancing, jogging, biking or walking.  An extra 2000 steps a day will help maintain your new weight.

Now Visualize Yourself Thin

Visualizing is a powerful tool.  According to Emil Coue (who coined the phrase, "every day in every way I am getting better and better") "your thoughts become reality - you are what you think."  You will be using all that you have learned to so far to create an image using your sense of sight, touch, sound, smell and taste.

Set aside 5 minutes two to three times a day.  You can visualize while walking, exercising on the treadmill, sitting alone, in the morning or in the evening before falling asleep.  Visualize yourself already at your ideal weight.  Use your senses to bring the image alive.  Give it detail.  Are you wearing that size 8 dress looking proud and confident?  Strolling along the beach in your bikini turning heads?  Playing tag games with the kids with energy to spare?

Feel the air around you, the ground beneath you, the colors, sights and sounds you are experiencing. Visualize stepping into that picture and try it on for size.  Fall in love with your body again.  You are *BAMVP.  Bold, Awesome, Motivated, Vibrant and Powerful.


*See 11/2/10 post, "BAMVP Be A More Vibrant Person:  How to Fit Relaxation Into Your Busy Day"