Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Be A More Vibrant Person: How to Fit Relaxation Into Your Busy Day

Like most women you multi-task every day juggling the demands of work, home and family. You rarely find time to take a break and de-stress. In fact taking time out to relax is a "guilty pleasure" you can't afford.

But those stress related symptoms...the irritability, fatigue, that run-down depressed feeling...tell us that "me time" is important for our emotional and physical health. Women who practice relaxation every day are better able to cope with stress related symptoms, illness and disease.

Think you don't have time to fit relaxation in an already too busy day? Five of the most effective stress busters can be done in five minutes or less. Require no special equipment. Just your breath and imagination. All are easy to do and can easily fit into a busy schedule. They are Breath work, Affirmations, Meditation, Visualization and Progressive Relaxation (BAMVP).

Making BAMVP Work For You


Morning Meditation: Time 5 minutes

Beginning tomorrow morning, don't hit the ground running! Set your alarm five minutes earlier to ease into your day. Meditation is about being in the moment. Not letting worries intrude. This is your time for quiet serenity. Use it to reflect on what is good in your life.

Affirmations: Time 0 minutes

During your morning cleanse, look into the mirror and say something good about yourself. While it is easy to find superficial faults, this day you will choose to embrace all that is uniquely you. Positive thoughts about yourself to yourself will lift your spirits.

Meanwhile, take a look at the tasks ahead of you this day. State your intention to succeed in all your challenges today. This optimistic view will raise your self-esteem and boost your confidence.

Breath work and Visualization: Time 1 minute

Periodically during the day, ideally every time you change activities, take a minute to relax and recharge. Put the to-do list on hold. Sit comfortably and focus on your breathing. Beginning on the exhalation, take slow deep breaths from the diaphragm. Inhale. Oxygen fills the lungs, circulates throughout the blood stream and triggers the relaxation response. Muscles relax. Breath and heart rate slows.

Close your eyes and visualize a beautiful memory or proud moment. Make it real by noticing the colors, sights, sounds, smells, who you are with, what you are wearing, etc. Visualization encourages the release of "feel good" endorphins. Puts a smile on your lips. Open your eyes and continue with your day.

Progressive Relaxation: Time 5 minutes

At the end of a long day this deep muscle massage is a great sleep aid. While lying in bed, tighten and relax each muscle group. Begin with the feet. Then the calves, thighs, stomach and buttocks, arms, fists, shoulders, neck and face. Repeat until you feel tension and fatigue drain from your body.

And there you have it. Five of the most effective stress busters in five minutes or less. Breath work, Affirmations, Meditation, Visualization and Progressive Relaxation. All the tools you need to Be A More Vibrant Person (BAMVP). Everyday.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Relieve Breast Cancer Stress with These Healing Techniques

October is National Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Statistics show over 1 million women worldwide will be given this diagnosis over the next year. The good news is there has been tremendous improvement in the diagnosis and treatment of this illness. The bad news is that chances are you will know someone close who is battling breast cancer.

The Link Between Stress and Cancer

Most women take on task after task and never equate the stress this causes with ill health. This health burnout comes from juggling family life, career and job advancement anxieties, friends and relationship problems while not allowing enough time for personal needs and relaxation. This woman is a prime candidate for a stress related major illness to occur sooner or later.

The link between increasingly taking on tasks, the stress they place on the body, the body's fatigue and breakdown of the immune system sets the stage for increase in the production of abnormal cells. The immune system is the body's natural defense against illness and contains and destroys cancer cells. A weakened immune system leaves the body at its lowest point to combat these abnormal cells. Now we have the optimal conditions for cancerous growth.

The Mind-Body Healing Connection

Of critical importance to cancer patients are the effects of emotional stress to suppress the immune system, compromising the body's natural defenses against cancer. If you are diagnosed, steps must be taken to strengthen your belief in your body's defenses in treating this cancerous growth.

Stress Relief Techniques for Healing

Learning to relax, visualization for wellness and self-help skills in nutrition and simple exercises will help you own the process of getting well. A regular relaxation routine helps reduce fear, anger, depression and the effect that tension and stress place on the body.

Exercise, any exercise, even if it's only lifting the arm or pointing the toes in a routine and repetitive daily regimen produces "feel good" endorphins which increases the feeling of well being.

Visualization is used to create mental images of the desired health outcome. It is a very focused tool used as a weapon to fight and win against disease. Below is a powerful mental imagery process devised by the Simonton Cancer Counseling and Research Center for its cancer patients:

A. Begin by Practicing a Relaxation Technique:

Sit in a quiet room. Loosen or remove all restricting clothes, shoes, belts, etc. Begin to focus on your breathing. Take several deep breaths, inhaling and exhaling slowly. Close your eyes and mentally moving from head to toe, think and relax each part of your body. Rest.

B. Then Begin the Mental Imagery Process:

(1) Visualize the cancer cells as weak in whatever way that appears to you.
(2) Visualize treatment as a strong and powerful symbol in whatever form that symbol takes.
(3) Visualize the healthy cells and white cells invincible, able to defend the body and defeat the weak cancer cells.
(4) Visualize the dead cells being flushed from the body.
(5) Visualize/image a picture of you healthy and energetic and fulfilling your life's purpose.

Practice three times a day for ten or fifteen minutes.

This is Your Life

Managing stress in combination with your medical treatment, are steps you can take to change the feeling of helpless victim to that of a person in charge of her life. Become an active participant in your recovery process and all medical decisions. Ask your doctor(s) plenty of questions - and seek answers. Research alternatives.

Positive reinforcement is vital to your recovery efforts. Seek out compassionate, supportive people during this process. Set goals for three months, six months and one year to increase the positive outlook that comes with having something to look forward to.

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Mommy I Need a Timeout

There are times when your youngster's behavior is really out of control. Hitting, screaming, yelling, throwing things and saying "no" to everything. Your child may not be old enough to explain his stressful behavior. But his non verbal body language is your cue that he needs a timeout.

Take Several Deep Breaths

Before you lose it, take several deep breaths to calm yourself. The more composed you are the better able you will be to get things under control. You want to deescalate the situation and find out what is wrong. Fortunately, children come with tools they use to understand the world around them. Their face, hands, legs and imagination. Your awareness and knowledge of your child will help you to say and do the right thing.

Find a Quiet Place

First find a quiet place to sit with your child. Observe what she is doing. Is your child looking down while talking to you, moving her arms, swinging her legs? You want to meet her at her own level, get into her world. So start doing what she's doing. This is called matching and mirroring a behavior and is the quickest way for you to experience what your child is feeling. Then ask if she is feeling sad, mad, worried, etc.

Draw a "Smiley Face"

Your child may not be able to put his feelings into words. If this is the case, show him pictures of faces expressing his feelings and emotions. You can draw these expressions simply as a "smiley face" cartoon. For example, draw a big smile to show happiness, eyes looking down for feeling sad, a furrowed brow for worrying, a teardrop and down turned mouth for unhappiness and so on. Have your child point to the picture that describes how he is feeling.

The Beauty of Childhood

The beauty of childhood is that children's moods can change in an instant. They live in the moment. What is going on now is all that matters to them. Good memories balance out the bad feelings immediately and give your child a sense of having the power to make things right. Help him find his happy memories. Assure your child that you love him regardless as to the way he is acting or feeling. You can say for example, "I love you even if your feelings are hurt, you won't share your toys, etc". Give him a hug of assurance.

Hugs and Assurances Help Reach the Goal

Then ask your child to again point to the face that looks like what she is feeling. The goal of course is that she points to the happy "smiley" face. Don't rush this time together. Continue the hugs and assurances until she points to the smiling face.

Teach the Lesson in a "Fun" Way

Now is the time to teach the lesson of sharing, correct the behavior, or do whatever the situation calls for to make it "all better". You can use songs, rhymes, poems or cartoon characters to help make your point in a "fun" way. Helping your child cope with stress is also a wonderful way to ease the stresses of parenthood. You will both get enjoyment from this timeout.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

My Mother's Day Gift to You - Stress Free Moments

It's Mother's Day. The one day of the year when you can spend an entire day on you, doing wonderful things just for you. Without feeling guilty. I invite you to take time out from stress anxiety to relax, release, recharge and rejuvenate.

Start Your Day with Stress Free Moments

Ease into your day. Just by focusing on your breathing you can enjoy an easy form of meditation - and a reduction of stress symptoms. You will be keeping your thoughts in the moment. Not worrying about the problems of yesterday or tomorrow:

*Quiet Joy Every Morning

Take a moment to gaze out a window. Savor the joy of morning. Drink in the wonders of nature. Look up at the sky. Stop and allow yourself to be in awe of the grandeur of the vast sky with its crisp dawn colors or muted grays and the brilliance of the sunrise. Look for the changing patterns and faces in the clouds (remember when you were a child?).


Allow your gaze to glide over the majestic trees...their distinct shapes...their patterned limbs and sway of leaves. Listen to the morning sounds. Or quiet stillness - the morning hush. Stay in this beautiful moment. Just feel. Let the feeling flow. Let it slowly flow.

A word will come to you - this is really "peaceful, relaxing, soothing, calming, etc." That's your cue to close your eyes. Inhale slowly, mentally repeating your word. Hold your breath a few seconds and then slowly exhale. If a worry crosses your mind, say to yourself, "Not now. This is my moment, my time, my space, my peace of mind.


Inhale slowly, deeply, to bring oxygen and energy flowing through your body. Exhale. Repeat this breathing exercise until you are ready to open your eyes and continue on with your day.

*Excerpt from When You Need a Timeout


Happy Mother's Day!

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www.smashwords.com/books/view/3838. At checkout enter the coupon code KG33P.

Monday, April 5, 2010

Hypnosis: A Powerful Relaxation Therapy That Works

A Natural State of Hypnosis

When I ask clients if they have ever been hypnotized, invariably they will answer no. But in fact people go in and out of hypnosis every day. Think about it. When you are daydreaming you are focused inward. That is a natural state of hypnosis. When you are engrossed in a good book and the children are yelling and the dog is barking, but you are oblivious to all around you. That's a natural state of hypnosis. How about when you are in a movie theatre full of people. When the lights go down, it's just you and Denzel or Leonardo DiCaprio on that screen. You are so narrowly focused that no one around you exists. A natural state of hypnosis.


Hypnosis Is

Narrowly focused inward, aware of but oblivious to outside stimuli. That is the definition of hypnosis. Specifically, it is a state of focused concentration characterized by very pleasant feelings of relaxation, heightened imagination and increased responsiveness to an idea. While you are fully conscious, you are tuned out to most stimuli around you.

A Powerful Relaxation Therapy

As a Stress Management Consultant, I was attracted to the study of hypnosis because it is a powerful relaxation therapy that helps people make rapid changes. A person with a lifelong fear of flying, for example, can take a plane trip after hypnosis. A person battling weight gain will lose her craving for fattening foods. A heavy smoker will throw away his cigarettes. A person suffering chronic pain can learn to manage it through self-hypnosis and live a better quality of life. A person burdened by a past mistake, trauma, abuse or guilt can have those painful memories neutralized through hypnosis and get to enjoy living life again.

Scientific Studies

Google "hypnosis" and you will find many scientific studies trying to define how hypnosis works. Using neuroimaging tools, scientists do know that it is not a sleep state. The brain waves are in alpha (relaxed) rhythm as opposed to delta (sleep) rhythm. A hypnotized subject when told a white sheet of paper is red shows activation in the color perception are of the brain. Hypnotically induced suggestions of pain activate the brain area as if the subject was in real pain. The phenomenon of inducing goose bumps on the arm of a hypnotized subject by pretending to rub an ice cube on the arm has been observed and documented.

Hypnosis: This Stuff Really Works!

While the scientific studies of hypnotic phenomena are ongoing let me share this anecdotal story. While practicing self-hypnosis I had taught her, my client realized a wonderful side benefit. The blinding migraine headaches she had been experiencing all her adult life were relieved through hypnosis. At her next appointment she reported this to me. Her astonished declaration was, "I don't know how...but this hypnosis stuff really works!

Friday, March 12, 2010

Ladies - Reduce Your Stress to Feel Better

Every woman has a point where stress starts to take a toll on her health. When stress is excessive it can express itself as nervousness, mood swings, an inability to concentrate or episodes of fear and panic. Few women realize that stress exacerbates every female cycle beginning with preadolescence through post menopause. Because chronic stress leads to overproduction of adrenaline, cortisol and estrogen hormones, it triggers unpleasant physical symptoms, from the bloating and cramping of PMS to the hot flashes and night sweats of menopause.

Take Steps to Reduce Stress

The best thing you can do to enjoy better health is to practice relaxation techniques. Reducing stress lets your body release tension and allows time to repair and rejuvenate. The method you choose depends on your own needs. Some people see stress as a challenge and take it in stride. It takes a lot to affect them. Still others become overwhelmed easily and end up physical wrecks. Power walking and vigorous exercise may suit the former while yoga stretches or meditation may suit the latter. In either case it is helpful to know how you handle stress and when you need to harness resources to relieve it. In fact it is not the stress so much but the way you handle it that is more important to your physical and emotional health.

Breathe from the Diaphragm

The most effective and least complicated way to relieve stress is through deep breathing. Learning the correct deep breathing technique is important for maximum benefit: Sit or lie down comfortably. Loosen all tight clothing. Place you hand on your lower abdomen and feel it rise and fall as you breathe. Next take slow deliberate breaths. When you inhale imagine you are blowing up a balloon. You stomach should rise. This allows the diaphragm to contract and oxygen to fill your lungs. As you exhale, imagine deflating the balloon or letting the air out. Continue to inhale and exhale slowly. Visualize clearing toxins, fatigue and worry as you exhale. Repeat for three to five minutes.

Taking slow, deep breaths signals the mind to relax. The lungs fill with oxygen dispersing energy throughout your body. Muscles relax, the heart rate normalizes, breath is calmed and balance is restored.

Reap the Rewards

Take time out several times a day, between activities to relax. With daily practice you will find that you can quickly slip into relaxation mode. And reap the rewards. The first thing you will notice is that you have more energy throughout the day. You will also have a slower pulse, lower blood pressure and lower levels of the stress hormone cortisol. Women who take time out to practice relaxation during the day significantly reduce their risk for stress related disease.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

He Loves Me, She Loves Me Not

You really love your guy and you do everything you can to show him. Yet, although he says he loves you, he's more reserved in showing affection. At times he seems too distant...not so into you. This leads you to question if he really does love you.

Do You Feel Loved?

The stress is causing you to act irritable and unlovable. But before you end up sabotaging your relationship, take a timeout and think about this. People mean different things using the same word. If we ask any two people what is important in a personal relationship both may agree that it is to feel loved. Yet, one will enjoy a long and loving relationship with his partner while the other will go through many relationships without feeling she has found love. Why is that? To find the answer you need to know what the "love" word means to your guy. And more importantly, what it means to you.

Finding Your Spin on the "Love" Word

Take the time to decide what you desire in a relationship. Start by asking yourself, "What makes me feel loved?" Then you and your partner make separate lists of eight to ten values that must be present. Your list might include - attraction, kissing and hugging, makes me laugh, communication and faithfulness. His may include - attraction, excites me, supports me, commitment and time for myself. Compare lists. You'll both discover what is important to the other. And the different "spin" each has on what it takes to feel loved will become evident.

How to Stay in a Loving Relationship

Go through your lists. Find the values you both have in common. For example, "excites me"
(his list) and "kissing and hugging" (your list" are well-suited. Use them to bridge the gap with those that seem incompatible. For example, "communication" (your list) and "time for myself" (his list) appear to be opposite values. This is where you both have to be open to compromise. Exercise some flexibility. Give and take is the basis for a happy and lasting relationship.

Why You Might Walk Away

For more insight, reorder your list. Rank your ideal relationship placing what is most important to you in first, second and third position. Have him do the same with his list. If "faithfulness" (your list) is at the top... and it is not given, you will likely walk away from this love connection. If his list topper is "commitment" to one person and it is not met, he may walk away. As you can see, giving priority to these top concerns is vital for your future together. Support and fulfill each other's most important values as much as you can.

Does He Love You?

Have fun with this exercise. It is a stress management tool designed to help you answer the question, "What makes me feel loved?" And learning what both your needs are for a fulfilling relationship is an added bonus. So does he love you? Share your results below.

Friday, January 8, 2010

Secrets to Losing Weight Without the Stress

Certain foods and herbs have a calming effect on the body, while others have an antidepressant effect. Still other foods tend to create more stress. Cut back or eliminate substances known to aggravate anxiety and stress, such as caffeine, nicotine and stimulant drugs. Limit salt, sugar and alcohol consumption. Substitute with decaf and/or herbal ingredients whenever possible.

Foods That Boost Your Energy

Increase your consumption of foods that boost your energy and lift your spirits. For example, blueberries, grapes, tomatoes and sweet potatoes are rich in stress-busting vitamin C. Protein foods like skim milk and cottage cheese stabilize your blood sugar and help you feel less hungry. Walnuts, asparagus and wild salmon help maintain levels of serotonin, the "feel-good" neurochemical in the brain. According to the Glycemic Index (GI) most fruits and vegetables are low on the carbohydrate index. Include at least one low carb GI food with each meal or snack. Among its benefits, low-GI foods increase metabolism, curb your appetite and reduce cravings.

Eat Mindfully

Don't gulp or bolt down your food. Learn to savor and appreciate the eating experience. Swallow one bite before taking the next to get the full impact of taste sensations in your mouth. Use all your senses - sight to take in the colors on your plate, smell to inhale the aromas, taste to savor the different flavors and feel to enjoy the texture of the foods as you chew. Remember, it takes approximately 20 minutes for your stomach to signal the brain that you are full. So for an easy weight loss strategy, eat slooowly and you will find that you are eating less.

Stress is a Diet Killer

Learn relaxation, visualization, deep breathing or self-hypnosis techniques to get through the tough times while you are trying to lose weight. Try this quick one-minute stress reliever: (1) choose a relaxing word or phrase such as peaceful, calming, soothing, etc. (2) Make a circle with your thumb and forefinger ("I'm okay" sign) as your cue to relax. (3) Now gently close your eyes and focus your attention within. (4) Inhale slowly. (5) Think of your relaxing word or phrase as you slowly exhale. (6) Repeat (4) and (5) five times. Allow yourself to let go of any stressful thoughts. This is your time for relaxation. Enjoy your calm space. This one minute distraction may be all the time you need to take your mind off of that high calorie fix!