Learning the Joy of Relaxation

Learning the Joy of Relaxation
                   

That's the name of the online relaxation course I created for the education site Udemy.com.  


This is a fun way to learn to relax.   A how-to-do-it class delivered in three formats to accommodate your learning style:

(1) Download the PDF text documents.

(2) Sit back and listen to the audios.

(3) Watch the PowerPoint videos.

 

Do you find it hard to let go and just relax?  Tried mind/body techniques that took too long to get results.  And never experienced that blissful peace everyone talks about.     

Does this describes your self- talk:

·         I find it hard to relax when I take a deep breath.   What am I supposed to feel?  Maybe I’m not doing it right.

·         I try to meditate but it takes too long to learn. I get bored.  I can’t stop my mind from wandering.   So why bother?

·         Visualizing…what does that even mean?  Am I supposed to see pictures?  I don’t.

·         What is the relaxation response anyway? 

Learning how to relax should be a joy…not a chore.  I designed this course to address those worries.  This is a five-part experiential workshop revealing four techniques to experience the ultimate radiant relaxation response.

 In each Learning the Joy of Relaxation workshop you will discover:

1.      Calming Deep Breath  

·         The first thing you should do for effortless results.

2.      Mindful and Mantra Meditation Parts 1 and 2

·         What you should know to stop the mind chatter.

3.      Vivid Imagery Visualization Parts 1 and 2

·         How to do it even when you don’t see images.

4.      Deep Muscle Progressive Relaxation

·         Why it is called the anti-anxiety technique. 

5.      How to Create a Radiant Relaxation Response 

·         The secret formula.

 

When you complete Learning the Joy of Relaxation you will have experienced relaxation methods that add to your coping ability, energy and quality of life.   You will be able to release tension in minutes and create a calming inner peace.  At any time. Any place.  Every day.

Receive a discount on this new course through December 31, 2013 with coupon code: Joy to Relax. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ten Powerful Stress Busters for the BAM VP Woman in You Wins Gold Award

          

Ten Powerful Stress Busters for the BAM VP Woman in You Wins Gold Award

Piscataway, NJ – May 6, 2013 - Ten Powerful Stress Busters for the BAM VP Woman in You was honored with the gold award in the 2013 eLit Book Awards, Women’s Issues category.

The eLit Awards are a global awards program dedicated to honoring the best e-books published each year.  The fourth annual eLit Awards are committed to illuminating the very best of the English language digital publishing entertainment.

The book was written by Barbara Mitchell to empower women to take charge of their health and wellbeing with simple, effective stress relief tips and techniques.  Inspirational quotes, guided meditation and links to additional resources encourage anyone new to stress management to continue this wellness journey.

To quote the author, “Taking time to relieve the stress and tension in our fast-paced lives is not just a ‘guilty pleasure’.  Managing stress is vital to our emotional and physical fitness.  Scheduling ‘me time’ to relax, refresh and reenergize should be part of everyone’s daily routine”.

And who isn’t stressed out these days?   “Just reading the whole book, I found myself releasing my stress through meditation and communing with God as I walked on my treadmill," Tiffany McCullough, a customer, said.

It is expected that Ten Powerful Stress Busters for the BAM VP Woman in You will gain the commendations of readers around the world because of its rich content.

 

About the Author:  Barbara Mitchell, DCH is an author, Stress Management Consultant, Doctor of Clinical Hypnotherapy, and a retired college administrator.  She helps clients experiencing emotional distress, trauma, and burnout move from stuck to enjoying a productive life once again.

Her BAM VP – Be A More Vibrant Person techniques were first introduced during an author interview on the Balancing Act on Lifetime Television.  She is also the author of the award winning book, “When You Need a Timeout” and the relaxation CD, “Just Relax Like This”.

 

“Ten Powerful Stress Busters for the BAM VP Woman in You is an Amazon Kindle eBook available at http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00A8INZ4C.     

                       What Do Mothers Really Want?

 

“God could not be everywhere and therefore he made Mothers” – Jewish Proverb

 

Sunday is Mother’s Day.  The day we lavish Mom with the best Mother’s Day gifts ever.  In addition to flowers the most popular gift ideas include jewelry, perfume, sweets, clothes and gift cards.

If the amount of money spent was the measure of our love, then take a look at these figures.  In 2012 we spent over $18 billion dollars on Mother’s Day gifts.   According to the National Retail Federation we will top that figure this year. 

A Look at the History

Anna Jarvis, like her mother before her, envisioned a memorial day to honor mothers.  Even though she never had children of her own, she made the celebration of a Mother’s Day her lifelong mission.

In 1907 she launched a letter writing campaign imploring politicians, clergymen and civic leaders to institute a national holiday for mothers.   After seven years of unrelenting advocacy her efforts paid off.

On May 8, 1914 President Wilson signed a resolution establishing a national Mother’s Day to be celebrated on the second Sunday in May. 

What Mothers Really Want for Mother’s Day

So what do mothers really want?  Hint:  It does not come with a price tag.  We have birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas and other holidays for all of those expensive gifts.  

When our Mothers were asked this question, this is what they had to say:

·         A recent poll showed that nine out of ten mothers wished their adult children would call them.  Spend some time with Mom reminiscing about the good times.    Recounting happy memories that bring smiles.

·         In another poll 43% of Mothers said they wanted sentimental and handmade gifts.

·         Mothers of small children would enjoy time off from being a Mom.   To be served breakfast in bed - without having to clean up afterwards.   

·         Other mothers would enjoy time alone to relax in any way they see fit.   Someone else can take the children to the park or to the movies for a couple of hours.

Anna Jarvis was upset by the way commercialism took over Mother’s Day.  Her vision was a day for mothers to feel loved, appreciated and cherished.   In her own words, “I wanted it to be a day of sentiment, not profit”.  Most mothers would agree that is what they really want for Mother’s Day.

 

What was your most memorable Mother’s Day Gift?

 

                    Why Celebrate Women’s History Month?

 

 

Let’s look at the history.  For over a century women have been in the forefront, struggling and strategizing for fair treatment in their public and private lives.  Spent stress-filled, anxious hours envisioning a day when they would enjoy the rights all Americans should have. 

Persistent efforts paid off.  Landmark decisions have been handed down regarding the right to vote, equal educational opportunities, birth control, domestic violence and consumer credit practices.

The struggle to end discrimination in the workplace however has been a seemingly insurmountable saga.  In 1961 President Kennedy established the President’s Commission on the Status of Women chaired by Eleanor Roosevelt.   The Commission issued a report in 1963 documenting substantial discrimination against women in the workplace.   The recommendations included fair hiring practices, paid maternity leave and affordable child care that led to: 

·         1963 – Equal Pay Act.  Title VII bars discrimination on the basis of race and sex.

·         1968 – EEOC ruled sex-segregated help wanted ads in newspapers are illegal.  Women can apply for higher paying jobs previously only open to men.

·         1970 - Schultz v. Wheaton Glass Co.  – U.S. Court of Appeals ruled employers cannot change job titles of women workers in order to pay them less than men

·         1974 – Corning Glass Works v. Brennan – U.S. Supreme Court ruled employers cannot justify paying women lower wages because of going market rate.  In other words, a wage differential “simply because men would not work at the low rates paid women” is unacceptable.

·         1978 - Pregnancy Discrimination Act – A woman cannot be fired or denied jobs or promotions because she is or may become pregnant, nor forced to take pregnancy leave if she is willing and able to work.

·         1986 - Meritor Savings Bank v.  Vinson – The Supreme Court finds that sexual harassment is a form of illegal job discrimination.

• 1993 - Family Leave Act - Federal law requiring covered employers to provide employees job-protected and unpaid leave for qualified medical and family reasons.  Includes personal or family illness, family military leave, pregnancy, adoption or the foster care placement of a child.

But it does not end there.  The struggle for parity in the workplace spans four decades.   Fast forward to the 21st Century.

• 2009 - President Obama signed the Lily Ledbetter Fair Pay Restoration Act allowing victims of pay discrimination to file a complaint with the government.  Named after a Goodyear employee who alleged and later proved that she was paid 15-40% less than male counterparts.

Women continue to be in the forefront of the struggle for their rights.    This legacy of faith, hope and strength continues with each generation of daughters and has influenced women all over the world.   A proud legacy with impressive gains.  That’s why we celebrate Women’s History Month.

 Ten Ways to Get Your Groove Back After the Holidays

“Christmas waves a magic wand over this world, and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful” – The Rev. Norman Vincent Peale

The joy - and stress of Christmas is over.  The office parties, family gatherings and gift giving will soon be a distant memory.   The holidays give us time to pause and remember the things that are important in life.  Keep the traditions with which we are familiar.  We love making merry and hate to see it end.

But the demands and expectations, the rushing to get things done have taken their toll.   You’re left feeling exhausted and burned out from all that magic and joy.    And perhaps a little regretful.

Maybe you ate too much and gained a few pounds.   Maybe you spent too much even though you had a strict budget.   Maybe it’s just the quiet of winter.   Some people experience serious mood changes when the season is over.   Tiredness, fatigue, depression and irritability. Or just the blues.

 It’s safe to say that after expending so much energy over the last few months, your body needs down time to recharge and rejuvenate.   You need outlets that help you reduce stress as well as stay positive and upbeat.

It’s easier to lift your spirits when you have something to look forward to.    The activities you choose to get involved in for stress relief should afford you a sense of overall well being.   Practicing deep breathing, affirmations, meditation, visualization and progressive relaxation (BAM VP) top the list for emotional balance.

Plan some low energy activities over the next few days that you enjoy doing.   For example:

       1.      Get out and enjoy nature – fresh air and sunshine are terrific mood boosters.
       2.    See the show you missed during the holidays.
       3.    Meet a good friend(s) for lunch and share holiday trials and triumphs.
       4.    Rent a funny movie and get a good laugh.  Laughter is another great mood booster.
       5.    Listen to music that makes you nostalgic.  Puts you in a good mood.
       6.    Replace negative thinking – the “why does everything happen to me” thoughts – with self- 
             affirming talk (I deserve to be happy and healthy)!

7.      Interact with a child, laugh and let your “inner child” come out to play.

       8.      Spend the day enjoying a favorite hobby.  Create something with your hands.
       9.      Take that Christmas gift certificate and buy something just for you.
       10.  Get a full body massage.   An excellent way to feel pampered, invigorate the body and  
             increase those feel good endorphins.

 

Taking time out to take care of you is a form of self-therapy that eases the tensions from the joy and stress of the season.  Pleasurable outlets that help you reduce stress are vital when you need to beat the holiday blues and get your groove back.  As for those few extra pounds.  Well that’s what New Year’s Resolutions are for.

 

 

More Than Willpower: How to Break an Unhealthy Habit

More Than Willpower:  How to Break an Unhealthy Habit

"...Understand your actions, for they become habits.  Study your habits, for they become your character..." - Oliver Wendell Holmes

Why do I keep doing this to myself?  Whether it's overeating, not exercising, smoking too much or biting your nails.   You know it's not healthy.  But all your efforts to break the habit by sheer will have left you stressed and exhausted.  And eventually they failed.

Here's why.  Habits form on a subconscious level.  Often as a learned response to stress.  The habit supports, calms and sooths you.  The reward is a chemical release of dopamine - the natural high runners often talk about.  Repeating the behavior delivers the same pleasurable reward.  The brain reverts to the learned response making it automatic.

Willpower may interrupt this automatic response temporarily.   But to make a lasting change you must create a new healthy habit to take the place of the old ingrained habit.   To be successful it is essential you know the answers to the following:

Why Change the Habit

Know your motivation to change.   You have to have a compelling "why".   Ask yourself, "Why make the change now?  What gives me the determination to change?  What will I gain?  What will happen if I don't change?"

What Triggers the Habit

Understand your pattern:  What triggers the habit i.e., where are you, who are you with and what are you doing?  What is pleasant and unpleasant about the habit?  What's in it for you besides the feel good "rush"?

How to Link the New Habit to a Reward

What healthy habit can you create to replace the unhealthy habit and get similar rewards, satisfaction?  You must enjoy the change as something that brings joy in your life.  Give yourself small rewards often to link pleasure to your new behavior.  Because if it doesn't feel good, permanent change won't happen.

When Will the New Habit Stick

Studies show it takes from 21-28 days to make new pathways in the brain for a new habit to become ingrained.  To make it "stick" the new habit needs practice, consistency, focus and repetition for it to become automatic.

The only thing left for you to do is mark your calendar for day 1:

• Post your motivation and rewards list everywhere for continued incentive.
• Get support from family, friends, role models for positive reinforcement if you need it.
• Avoid temptation - the old triggers - until you feel strong enough.
• Give yourself small rewards often.  Factor in a long term reward to celebrate your success.

Finally, to ensure long term results, visualize the new you repelling the unhealthy habit and replacing it with the healthy habit. Several times a day.  Be consistent.  Every day for the next 28 days.



Your comments:  What if anything did you do to overcome an unhealthy habit?  What worked?

How to Say "No" Without Making Enemies

How to Say "No" Without Making Enemies

"I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody." - Bill Cosby


You just said yes to something you did not want to do.  Again.  And why?  Because you did not want to appear rude or make the other person angry.  It's not in your nature to be confrontational.  And even though you sometimes feel used, or could kick yourself for being such a pushover, it's too stressful to just say no.

You're Too Nice

You always put yourself last and people expect that.  But you are tired of trying to please everybody.   It's time for a change.  And that change begins when you decide your time has value.   No one can do that for you.  Once you acknowledge that your personal responsibilities take priority, saying no to new commitments becomes that much easier.

Fortunately there are several ways to decline a request when you...


Don't Want to Alienate

Your pushy neighbor appoints you to coordinate a fund raiser for a worthy cause she is sponsoring.  It's an enormous responsibility you don't have the time or inclination to undertake.  On the other hand you don't want to cause bad feelings between the two of you.

Solution:  In this case it may be easier to decline while offering an alternative.  Say no to the request.  "I'd love to but I can't do it at this time.   I don't have time in my schedule to give this the attention it deserves." Then offer to do whatever part you feel you can handle.   Don't allow yourself to be manipulated into helping further.   Only you know and can protect your limits.

Don't Want to Anger

When it comes to family you are the "go to" person.  You are expected to get things done.   But when it comes to making you responsible for planning and coordinating your sister's wedding...it is just too much.  And though you don't want the family angry with you, you resent being the one everyone  dumps on. 

Solution:  This is your opportunity to redefine your role without being defensive or argumentative.  "I am flattered that you gave this awesome role to me but it is too much to take on alone.  So I'm going to have to say no".  Avoid the stress of feeling guilty by offering to discuss alternatives.  "I'll tell you what.  If you can get our relatives to pitch in I'll be more than happy to do my part".  You can put your needs first and still be agreeable.

Put it Off

Your coworker manipulates others to do the lions share on his projects.  Now it's your turn.   You tell him you will think about it.  But the last thing you want to do is help someone who won't carry his own weight. You have enough work to do.

Solution:  Don't put off the inevitable.  When you know you are not interested in the proposition, don't waste everyone's time with "Let me think about it".   Let him know you already have a full plate. "I'd like to help you out but it is simply impossible at this time. I am swamped with my own projects".  Don't make up excuses.  And don't leave room for further discussion.  Respect that you have a right to say no when the request is not in your best interest.

At the end of the day you will feel better with the new assertive you.  Less stressed and more in control of your time.  You found ways to say no without appearing rude or alienating family and friends.   And best of all the people who matter still like you.  Even when you say no.       

Accentuate the Positive for this Beauty Secret

BAM VP - Be A More Vibrant Person in 2012

Be Awesome, Motivated, Vibrant and Passionate!  A daily energizing routine of Breathwork, Affirmations, Meditation, Visualization and Progressive Relaxation will make you feel your best every day.
________________________________________________

Accentuate the Positive for this Beauty Secret

"If someone in your life talked to you the way you talk to yourself, you would have left them long ago." - Carla Gordon


Think of all the negative things you say to yourself every day.  I'm not smart enough, good enough, pretty enough.  I'm too fat, skinny, tall short.  My nose is too big, hips too wide, legs to thin, feet too large.  Today is a bad hair day because my hair is too straight, kinky, curly, long, short.  Oh no, not another wrinkle!

Nobody's Perfect

Although you've heard it before, it bears repeating:  Nobody's perfect.  We all have something about ourselves we would like to change.  The cosmetics and plastic surgery industry is a multi-billion dollar testament to that.  "Insider secrets" to enhance your looks by changing the way you apply makeup, what you wear or the way you walk, talk and more are easy to discover on the Internet.

The point is no matter how big the flaw, it's usually cosmetic.  Be grateful that you have that nose, those hips, legs and feet and that they function the way they should.  Because in this world there is someone, somewhere without, who would gladly trade places with you.

Accentuate the Positive

While it is easy to find superficial faults in ourselves, take care when choosing the words you use to describe yourself.  Negative words cause an emotional backlash that will chip away at your self-confidence.  On the other hand, positive words build your self-esteem and lift your spirits. 

Real Beauty

You can change your outer appearance but it is how you look and feel inside that count.   That is where real beauty begins.  There is where real change happens.   And that is where a healthier outlook on life thrives.

Question:  What does beauty mean to you?

Give Me A Break: 7 Resources that Make Life Easier for Caregivers

Give Me A Break:  7 Resources that Make Life Easier for Caregivers


"I must do something' always solves more problems than 'Something must be done'". - Unknown Author

Julia, a divorcee was one of the "sandwich generation" balancing life between an adult child who had come back home to live and aging parents who need more of her time and resources.  Between the two, it was worry about the failing health and ongoing care of her parents that caused the most stress.

And it was not just the finances - although she did not know where the money for their care would come from.  Signs of deterioration showed they could not live alone much longer.   And Julia knew she would not be able to shoulder the burden of full-time caregiver if they moved in with her.

The weight of having all the decision-making fall on her shoulders - some of it crucial when it came to her parents future needs - was making Julia feel overwhelmed and emotionally drained.  She did not know where to begin to turn for help.

Caregivers Are...

Caregiver is the term for anyone who looks after a person who needs assistance with daily tasks.  Whether you move your loved ones into your home or keep them in their house, caregivers report that the daily challenges will leave you feeling guilty because of the anger, frustration and sometimes loss of patience you feel.  You begin to feel there is no escape.   It becomes even more complicated if the loved one suffers from dementia and Alzheimer's disease.

Fortunately there are agencies and community organization with services that can make life easier.  Senior Centers offer meals and activities and some medical care.  Senior Corps sends volunteers age 55 or older to visit the elderly at home.   Occupational therapist can evaluate a home and recommend safety improvements such as grab bars in the bath tub as well as help the elderly improve their balance and strength.

Resources That Make Life Easier

Research in the June 2012 AARP Magazine offers an extensive list of resources including:

1. AARP'S Caregiving Resource Center at www.aarp.org/caregivers.
2. Your local Area Agency on Aging (AAA) for living options your loved one may be entitled to www.n4a.org.
3. SNAP for Seniors lists residential facilities on its website www.snapforseniors.com.
4. The National Association for Home Care & Hospice lists home-care agencies on its website www.nahc.org.
5. Leading Age represents not-for-profit senior residences on its website www.leadingage.org.
6. Medicare's website ranks local nursing homes and health agencies www.medicare.gov.
7. Geriatric-care managers help with all aspects of caring for older adults www.caremanager.org.

After researching her options, Julia got help for her parents by working with community agencies in her area.   They also steered her toward programs that help relieve some of the financial costs.  On her own Julia explored The National Council on Aging website for sources of government aid www.benefitscheckup.org.

For more comprehensive information and resources that make life easier for caregivers, AARP's Caregiving Resource Center at www.aarp.org/caregivers  is a one-stop shop.. 

What Every Woman Should Know About Stress

BAM VP - Be A More Vibrant Person in 2012

A daily energizing routine of Breath, Affirmations, Meditation, Visualization and Progressive Relaxation will help you feel your best every day: Bold, Awesome, Motivated, Vibrant and
Powerful. 
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What Every Woman Should Know About Stress

"We can do whatever we wish to do provided our wish is strong enough.  What do you want most to do?  That's what I have to keep asking myself, in the face of difficulties". - Katherine Mansfield

Last week's horoscope read, "The biggest threat to you is stress - and that's something you can manage if you put your mind to it".  Finding ways to manage stress is wise advice for all of us.  But when it comes to women's health, practicing some form of stress relief is crucial.

Stress exacerbates a woman's cycle from pre adolescence to post menopause.  That is because hormones like estrogen rule our cycles.   Add to it the stress hormone cortisol, which is produced in abundance when we become overwhelmed juggling the responsibilities of home, family and career.  These hormones make a volatile mix that affects balance, mood changes, changes in metabolism, heart rate, respiration, blood pressure and memory.

Stress also makes PMS symptoms worse.  Extreme levels of stress trigger psychological and physical symptoms during ovulation and menstruation such as cramping, mood swings, fatigue, insomnia, rapid heartbeat and shortness of breath.

Menopause symptoms such as night sweats and hot flashes are far more intense for women under chronic stress.

According to Dr. Susan Lark and other authorities on women's health, the underlying cause of eighty percent of doctor's visits is stress.  Chronic stress can increase one's susceptibility to virtually every major disease.

Studies now link urinary infections, postpartum depression, acnes, psoriasis, diabetes and autoimmune illnesses with chronic stress symptoms.  Studies show an indirect link between stress and cancer because chronic stress weakens the immune system - the body's natural defense to contain and destroy cancer cells.  Recent research from the Association for Cancer links stress to an aggressive form of breast cancer in African American and Latino women.

The problem is that many women don't hear the warning message their bodies send out.  Partly because women are too stressed out to listen.  They don't connect the symptoms to stress.  But the irritability, insomnia, appetite changes, tense muscles they experience are signs of stress.

The good new is there is something you can do today to relieve stress in your life.  Try several relaxation techniques to find what works for you.  Yoga, meditation, deep breathing, journaling, walks in the park, a hobby, pampering spa treatments, etc.  Reassess your to-do list and cross off all non essentials.  And ask for help when needed. 

• Make a commitment to yourself to practice some form of relaxation every day.
• Find a routine you can stick with that fits your lifestyle.
• Practice daily, consistently until managing stress becomes your habit.
• Monitor your self-talk when tempted to skip out.  Make an affirmation like, "I am doing this everyday...for me and my health" to keep you motivated.

We now know that taking time to relieve the stress and tension in our lives is not just a "guilty pleasure".  Managing stress is vital to our emotional and physical fitness.  So start now and dedicate time for relaxation and relieving stress, knowing you are contributing to your health and wellness.

Remember the biggest threat to you is stress.  An that's something you can manage if you put your mind to it.

How Do You Relieve the Stress In Your Life? Take the Stress Quiz

  BAM VP - Be A More Vibrant Person in 2012

A daily energizing routine of Breath, Affirmations, Meditation,Visualization and Progressive Relaxation will help you feel your best every day: Bold, Awesome, Motivated, Vibrant and Powerful.
_________________________________________________________



How Do You Relieve the Stress in Your Life?  Take the Stress Quiz
"Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it." - Dennis P. Kimbro

We can't go through life without some stress.  But when stress is chronic, unrelenting, ongoing, it can affect your health and compromise your immune system.

There are people who see stress as a challenge and take it in stride.  And there are others who become overwhelmed and end up physical wrecks.  Since unrelieved stress is detrimental to your health, it is helpful to understand exactly how you handle stress.  are you making yourself more vulnerable because your coping strategies are less than resourceful?

Below is a list of some common ways people cope when faced with stressful situations.  Take the stress quiz and check all that apply to you.

When Under Stress

1. _____I withdraw emotionally and do nothing.

2. _____I confront the problem and work to resolve it.

3. _____I eat or sleep more than I should.

4.  _____I engage in physical activity to "blow off" the pressure.

5. _____I drink and/or smoke too much.

6. _____I unwind with a hobby or creative interest or other relaxing  pastime.

7. _____I worry to the point that I can't sleep nights.

8. _____I talk with family and friends for input and support.

9. _____I become irritated and take my anger out on those around me.

10. ____I practice relaxation techniques like deep breathing, meditation, etc.

11. ____I ignore my needs and try to please others.

12. ____I get away from it all periodically to rejuvenate.

Your Score:  Did you check more of the even-numbered answers or more of the odd-numbered answers?  The even-numbered answers represent the more constructive coping strategies.  Take a look at the odd-numbered strategies you checked.  Those are the areas you need to work on.  Recognize them as opportunities to take charge of an aspect of your life that you are not handling to the best of your ability.

Focus on what is possible and set your sights on accomplishing it.  Begin by drawing from the self-assertive (even-numbered) answers.  Adapt those strategies to fit your specific needs.  When you believe you are in control, you are better able to handle stressful situations.  That's empowering.

The lesson to learn from the Stress Quiz is this: it is not the stress but the way you handle it that is most important to your physical and emotional health.


For an in-depth look at life events that raise your stress levels, Google "Holmes-Rahe Life Stress Inventory".

Don't Worry, Be Happy - Your Choice

BAM VP - Be A More Vibrant Person in 2012
A daily energizing routine of Breath work, Affirmations, Meditation, Visualization and Progressive Relaxation will help you be your best every day: Bold, Awesome, Motivated, Vibrant and Powerful.
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Don't Worry, Be Happy - Your Choice

"Keep your mind on the things you want and off the things you don't want." - Hannah Whitall Smith


You can create a happier, healthier outlook by choosing to celebrate the joy in your life rather than despair.   Here's a tip or two:

• Replace negative thinking with self-affirming thoughts.  The next time you are beating yourself up over something you did or something done to you - STOP.  Instead think of a compliment, thoughtfulness or kind word someone gave you.  Remember the times you coped with a difficult situation and succeeded.  Overwhelm and collapse negative thinking by stacking and accentuating the positive moments in your life.

• Do something special each day just for you.   Buy yourself flowers.   Listen to music that lifts your mood and brings back fond memories.  Get out and walk, hike, bike and enjoy nature.  Interact with a child.  Lend a helping hand and feel great.  Be silly and share a laugh with family and friends (laughter is the ultimate mood lifter).  Pursue a goal or hobby.  Create something with your hands.  Buy something new.  Meet a friend for lunch.   Get a massage.  The list is limited only by your imagination.

Each day is a brand new opportunity to improve something in your life.   And at the end of the day, the ability to be happy is yours to choose.

A 5 Minute Morning Meditation to Lift Your Spirits and Put a Smile on Your Face

BAM VP - Be A More Vibrant Person in 2012
A daily energizing routine of Breath work, Affirmations, Meditation, Visualization and Progressive Relaxation will help you meet each day more Bold, Awesome, Motivated, Vibrant and Powerful.
_______________________________________________________

A 5 Minute Morning Meditation to Lift Your Spirits and Put a Smile on Your Face

"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony." - Mahatma Gandhi

Set your alarm five minutes earlier tomorrow.  When you get up, find a quiet place to sit and gaze out a window.  Look up at the sky.   Really notice the color and expanse.   Follow the shape and movement of the clouds.

Let your thoughts drift as you enjoy the morning stillness.  This is your time to focus on what is good in your life - not the worries of yesterday, today or tomorrow.

Begin your meditation by focusing on your breathing.   The rhythmic rise and fall of your breath.  Since breathing has a strong effect on emotional change, it is a natural bridge to begin to meditate.  Slow measured breathing has a calming effect.

Gently close your eyes and tune into your body.   A word will come to you that describes what you are feeling.  Calm, relaxed, peaceful, happy, confident.  That is your relaxation keyword.  Spread the word throughout your body.  From the top of your head to the tip of your toes.

Put your relaxation keyword in a phrase that inspires you to handle stress differently today.  For example, "I am calm and relaxed" when you are feeling tense and anxious.  Use this phrase whenever you need it throughout the day.

*Inhale slowly and  mentally repeat, "I live with a happy heart, a peaceful mind and a playful spirit".  Stay with it for a minute or two.  Inhale deeply and in the privacy of your own mind quietly shout, "I deserve health and happiness!"

Just before you are ready to open your eyes, begin to stimulate that positive energy that is a smile by recalling something you enjoy.  Something that makes you feel good.  Let the corners of your mouth turn up.  Smile.  Send this smiling energy into every bone and every organ and every nerve and every cell in your body.

Now take that smiling energy up into your heart.

Decide what you would like to take with you into your day.  Something of a positive, inspiring nature.  Open your eyes and start a day you look forward to!


*From Quantum Focusing - Finding the Zone by Michael Ellner and Alan Barsky.

Is It Stress or Burnout? 7 Signs You Should Know

Is It Stress or Burnout?  7 Signs You Should Know

BAM VP - Be A More Vibrant Person in 2012
A daily energizing routine of Breath work, Affirmations, Meditation, Visualization and Progressive Relaxation will help you meet each day Bold, Awesome, Motivated, Vibrant and Powerful
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"Simplicity means taking charge of a life that is too busy, too stressed, and too fragmented...focusing on the essentials - whatever those may be for each of our unique lives" - Duane Elgin


One third of Americans live with extreme stress, naming money and work as the leading cause.  Stress is a significant reason for problems with family and friends.  Eight percent connect stress to divorce or separation.  These are the statistics reported by the American Psychological Association.

Anyone can suffer from stress or burnout.  From the frazzled office worker putting in late hours, to the frenetic homemaker struggling with children or caregiving, to the Type A personality with control issues.

Stress is About Too Much Pressure and Responsibility

You are expected to be too many things to too many people.  Symptoms include feeling irritable, fatigued, frustrated, overwhelmed.  Physically your body aches and your blood pressure is up.  Despite this, you still feel optimistic that if you can just get things under control everything will work out.

The good news is stress is easier to handle at this stage - before it becomes chronic.

Burnout is About Having Too Little Left to Give

It is the more intense form of stress.  Symptoms include feeling empty, helpless, hopeless.  Loss of motivation and interest.  Feeling nothing you do is appreciated or makes a difference.  Problems seem overwhelming and you are unable to meet the demands. 

Because burnout is gradual, you may not realize you are past the breaking point until it is too late.
In the early stages stress reduction strategies may be enough.  Though it will take a good amount of time and effort.  If symptoms persist or become worse, however, it is best to see a doctor.

7 Signs of Stress                                 7 Signs of Burnout

Over engagement (doing too much)    Disengagement (not worth it)
Over reactive (hypersensitive)             Emotions blunted (past caring)
Urgency and hyperactivity                   Helplessness and hopelessness
Loss of energy                                     Loss of motivation, ideas, hope
Anxiety disorders                                 Detachment and depression
Primary damage is physical                  Primary damage is emotional
May kill you prematurely                      Life seems not worth living

Source: Stress and burnout ministry

What You Can Do for Relief

• At work:  speak with your boss to clarify job description, renegotiate new job duties.  Give yourself a break and take time off when needed.
• At home:  set boundaries, learn to say no and get help where needed.  Carve out daily "me time" to relax.
• For the high achieving Type A personality:  take a break from the laptop, email, Blackberry.  Find a fun project, hobby or other non-work related activity to get away from responsibilities.

Begin to understand that stress management and relaxation are a vital part of your physical and emotional fitness.  Learn breathing routines, affirmations, meditation, visualization and progressive relaxation to find what works for your lifestyle.  Take a "time out", eat healthy, exercise and get plenty of rest.  Finally, reassess your goals, simplify your life and rediscover what what makes you happy.

Did You Celebrate Women's History Month?

BAM VP - Be A More Vibrant Person
A daily energizing routine of Breath work, Affirmations, Meditation, Visualization and Progressive Relaxation will help you meet each day more Bold, Awesome, Motivated, Vibrant and Powerful.
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Did You Celebrate Women's History Month?

"I am strong, I am invincible, I am woman" - song lyrics by Helen Reddy

The women's and feminist movement of the 1970's played a pivotal role in the fight for equal rights in the workplace for women: (1) equal work for equal pay, (2) equal opportunity for promotion, (3) breaking through the glass ceiling and (4) moving into senior management.  Having it all.  Now that you have it...how's that working for you?

You already have an important job.  You have a household to run.  Washing, ironing, cooking and cleaning.  Married?  With children?  You have a family to nurture and raise.  And that is a 24-7 job, thank you.  You take pride in this part of your life.  You love what you do and you do it well.

At work you have a career to pursue.  You take on duties beyond your job description.   Present reports, chair committees, attend conferences and seminars for continuing education.  Thanks to mentors in your field you learned the politics of promotion and advancement in your field.  Stay on the radar of the decision makers.  Don't be sidelined to a supervisor role.  Your sights are on a management path.  Director, vice president, senior management.   That's your goal.  You take pride in this area of your life.  You love what you do and you do it well.

Each role in your life brings you happiness.  But together they can be overwhelming.  No one's taking up the slack and no one figured how you were supposed to do it all.  The stress, irritability and mood swings are draining.  In your body, the stress hormone cortisol, if left unchecked will wreak havoc with your immune system.   If you do nothing you are heading toward burnout, illness and disease.

• Make your well-being a priority now.  Learn relaxation methods like breath work, affirmations, meditation, visualization and progressive relaxation to help you manage overwhelm, and handle the problems that cause dis-stress.
• Carve out some time away from responsibility to celebrate you.  If necessary ask for help with the household duties and put a "do not disturb" sign on your bedroom door.  Have breakfast in bed.  Read that novel you haven't been able to get to.  Or go out for a walk and enjoy nature.  Take in a movie.   Lunch with friends.  Get a mani-pedi and/or treat yourself to a massage.  Spend the time doing something that you enjoy.
• Take as much pride in "me time" as you do for your household and career.  Take a time out from worry and responsibility once a week, twice a month, as often as you can.  Love what you do for yourself and do it well. You've come a long way baby and you deserve it.

Celebrate your awesome womanhood every month of the year.   For all that you give and all that you do and all that you are.  You are the reason we celebrate Women's History Month.

So, how did you celebrate Women's History Month?  I'd like to know.