Stress Free Moments

Is He Your True Love? One Way To Know For Sure

2012-02-14T07:30:00.000-08:00

BA MVP - Be A More Vibrant in 2012

A daily 11 minute energizing routine of Breath, Affirmations, Meditation, Visualization and Progressive Relaxation and you will meet the day Bold, Awesome, Motivated, Vibrant and Powerful.
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Is He Your True Love? One Way to Know for Sure

Close your eyes and visualize your perfect mate. What features are you most attracted? Dark, dreamy eyes or eyes with a twinkle in them; a strong masculine jaw? Notice every detail in his face.

What Makes Us fall in Love

Studies of what makes us fall in love conclude that we are attracted to symmetry in the features of a face. The perfect ratio of eyes to ears to mouth yields the ideal face in our standard of beauty. But how many people have you found very attractive, but did not fall in love with?

So we know that there must be more to this equation. Check out any online dating site and you will see the in depth questioning it takes to come up with a profile of a compatible partner. You are asked to think about and provide preferences in appearance, background and education, values and beliefs, lifestyle etc. in hopes of finding that someone who is perfect for you.

A Visual Connection

But what if falling in love is not as complicated as we try to make it? What if we instinctively know our true love just by looking at the features of his face? A visual connection that gives an inner view of the thoughts, feelings and values of that certain someone.

According to the art of Face Reading we can. Its principle is based on the ancient Chinese observations of nature and the human life cycle. This circle of life, from beginning to end to beginning again, is the law that governs all life.  The Chinese defined the cycles in five stages or the Five Elements known as Water, Fire, Wood, Earth and Metal.

Each element has an energy that is represented in each of us and has characteristics that reveal something about our personalities. It is reflected in our face and our face tells who we are inside.

What Does His Face Tell You

Remember I asked you to visualize your perfect mate.  For illustration let us say his eyes have that dark, dreamy, mysterious look and his hair is wavy. Those are Water characteristics. This person's qualities include determination, courage, innate wisdom, creativity, a nurturing depth of feeling and a need to not be confined.

Let's say your ideal mate has sparkling eyes that seem to dance with light and has curly hair. That's the Fire element. He has a quick smile, loves excitement, upbeat personality and great at communicating.

Okay. Your perfect mate with his strong, prominent jaw is a Wood energy. This is the element of logic and structure.   He loves a good argument, needs to keep active, into outdoor and competitive team sports.

Look at His Eyes

When I first read this book on face reading, "The Wisdom of Your Face" by Jean Haner, I got an "aha" moment that helped me understand and appreciate my husband even more.

He has the soft dreamy eyes characteristic of the Water element. At first sight they drew me right to him! He is adventurous, goes by his inner map to explore the world, and knows exactly what to say when I'm not feeling confident. There's some Fire in him too. He loves to play and joke. Perfect for me because I love to laugh.

And he has one Water characteristic that has caused me many frustrated, stressful moments over the years. True to his element he is almost always late. And he does not seem to do it purposely. I have observed him leave the house at the same time he was supposed to arrive for an appointment. Hard to figure. Once I understood that time restrictions don't fit well with Water energy's need to flow, my "aha" moment allowed me to be more relaxed and not take it personal.

Did I forget to say that my energy is Metal? I am organized, precise, creative, value beauty and to quote, "running late is not a Metal quality!" Wow. It just goes to show that opposites attract. And, like my husband and I, love happily ever after.

Trouble Sleeping? The Top 5 remedies for a Good Night's Sleep

2012-02-04T12:33:00.000-08:00

BAM VP - Be A More Vibrant Person in 2012

P is for progressive relaxation. A technique of systemically tightening and relaxing each muscle group until your entire body is relaxed. Feels like a deep muscle massage. At the end of a long day progressive relaxation is an excellent sleep aid.
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Trouble Sleeping? The Top 5 Remedies for a Good Night's Sleep

"Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day..." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

"It's 2 am. Why can't I fall asleep?" A recent study revealed that insomnia affects 6% to 10% of adults and is twice as common in women as men. If you lie awake at night worrying about falling asleep your anxiety actually prevents you from doing so. This internal dialogue becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

From time to time we all have bouts of insomnia. A bad night once in a while is a normal part of life. If your insomnia is a new situation or a chronic one, investigate the cause. A new medication keeping you too alert to relax? Diuretics or a more serious health problem causing frequent trips to the bathroom? Menopause with its erratic hormonal symptoms interrupting a woman's (and sometimes her husband's) sleep! In these situations check with your doctor to determine if there is a need for treatment.

More often than not it is lifestyle, the hectic pace of too much to do and too little time to do it. The stress of work, family and finances. The anxiety spills into the bedroom and what should be a temporary problem falling asleep becomes a negative association with going to bed. But with a few tweaks your bedroom can become a haven for rest and relaxation.

Think of your bedroom as your sanctuary. Reframe your self-talk. Instead of thinking, "I have to get some sleep tonight", put the emphasis on rest and relaxation. Tell yourself, "I'm going to lie here and just relax tonight". Give yourself permission to get a good night's rest.
Link bed time with your time to wind down. Take a warm bath, sip herbal teas, read a book, spray a relaxing lavender or chamomile fragrance in your bedroom, play relaxing music. Adjust the room temperature so it is not too hot or cold. Block out light as much as possible and use a sleep mask to ensure total Zen. You may have to experiment to find what works best to relax you.
Avoid all activities that may cause high anxiety. Turn off the TV, nightly news. Put away the laptop, iPad; turn off the phone and blackberry. Avoid caffeine, alcohol consumption and aerobic exercises in the evening.
Stop the mind chatter and worry before you go to bed. Set aside 15 to 20 minutes each night to write down everything that is stressing you. Sit in a comfortable chair. Set the timer. When the time is up, put down the pen and put your problems away for the night. Make a promise to yourself that the rest of the night is your time for relaxation.
*Progressive relaxation is one of the best techniques to channel your body's natural ability to calm down and fall asleep. While lying in bed begin to slowly tense and relax each muscle group systematically from toe to head - or head to toe if that feels more natural. Repeat at least once. During the second round visualize yourself enjoying a deep massage of each muscle group.

Your bedroom is now your sanctuary. Your bed...a place for relaxation and a good night's rest.

BAM VP - Breath, Affirmation, Meditation, Visualization, Progressive Relaxation

*Learn more relaxation techniques in my audio recording, "Just Relax Like This".

Visualize Yourself Thin: 3 Essential Steps for Amazing Results

2012-01-28T11:37:00.000-08:00

BAMVP - Be A More Vibrant Person in 2012

V is for visualization. Close your eyes and visualize a beautiful memory, proud moment, memorable vacation. Make it real by noticing the colors sights, sound, and smells around you. Visualization encourages the release of feel good endorphins. Puts a smile on your lips. Now open your eyes and have a great day!
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  Visualize Yourself Thin: 3 Essential Steps for Amazing Results

"If I Can See It, Then I Can Be It" - I Believe I Can Fly lyrics by R. Kelly

Do you visualize? Daydreams, memories and inner talk are all types of visualization. Imagine a goal that you want to attain. Then program your vision to reach it.

The Carrot and the Stick

Your goal is to lose weight. Specifically 20 pounds; or wear a size 8 again; or have enegy to play with your kids. That's the carrot, your reward. If you want to be successful in your endeavor you will have to acknowledge the reasons why you are pursuing this goal.

What was the incident, the last straw - "the stick" that set your plan in motion? Was it a long look in the mirror, a hurtful remark directed at you or a medical issue that would disappear if you lose the weight? Write it down and leave nothing out. No one has to see this except you. This is the motivation you will use again and again at those times when you are tempted to give in to cravings.

Picture Perfect Visual Aids

Find pictures of you at your ideal weight. Place them everywhere. On the refrigerator, bathroom mirror, iPhone, ipad, computer screensaver. You could also use pictures of someone you believe ideal or even hang that size 8 outfit in full view.

This is not only about how you want to look. It is also about how you want to feel. Link positive affirmations to your visuals. Think, "I can do this", "I look awesome" or whatever works for you.
Send love even to those parts you want to slim down!

Wait For It...

You knew this was coming. Food and exercise. What is your action plan to help make this weight loss happen? Link lots of pleasure to this planning phase. Visualize yourself selecting, preparing and eating healthy meals. Picture yourself savoring and enjoying the feel and texture of the food in your mouth.  Adopt an "I eat only the best for my body" attitude.

You will want to give up foods that keep the weight on. But take baby steps so you don't feel deprived. For example, one less soda a day will save approximately 100 calories.

Exercise must be fun for you to stick it out. So visualize moving your body to something you enjoy and watching the pounds melt. Dancing, jogging, biking or walking. An extra 2000 steps a day will help maintain your new weight.

Now Visualize Yourself Thin

Visualizing is a powerful tool. According to Emil Coue (who coined the phrase, "every day in every way I am getting better and better") "your thoughts become reality - you are what you think." You will be using all that you have learned to so far to create an image using your sense of sight, touch, sound, smell and taste.

Set aside 5 minutes two to three times a day. You can visualize while walking, exercising on the treadmill, sitting alone, in the morning or in the evening before falling asleep. Visualize yourself already at your ideal weight. Use your senses to bring the image alive. Give it detail. Are you wearing that size 8 dress looking proud and confident?  Strolling along the beach in your bikini turning heads? Playing tag games with the kids with energy to spare?

Feel the air around you, the ground beneath you, the colors, sights and sounds you are experiencing. Visualize stepping into that picture and try it on for size. Fall in love with your body again. You are *BAMVP. Bold, Awesome, Motivated, Vibrant and Powerful.

*See 11/2/10 post, "BAMVP Be A More Vibrant Person: How to Fit Relaxation Into Your Busy Day"

Get to The Bottom of Addictive Behavior and Move On With Your Life

2012-01-21T12:52:00.000-08:00

BAM VP - Be A More Vibrant Person in 2012!

M is for meditation. Allow time for quiet introspection and problem solving. Ease into it by daydreaming. Gaze out a window and focus on your breathing. While enjoying nature you are doing a form of meditation. Your thoughts are in the moment. Yesterday's worries and tomorrow's challenges do not exist.
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Get to the Bottom of Addictive Behavior and Move On With Your Life

"While we may not be able to control all that happens to us, we can control what happens inside us." -Benjamin Franklin

*Jennifer had a life most women would envy. A beautiful home, well-behaved children and a husband who was a good provider. She also had a self-indulgence that she kept secret. It started with a glass of wine in the evening to relax after everyone had gone to bed. She told herself that one or two can't hurt so she added one, then two during the day. Eventually, the fear that she might be becoming an alcoholic began to alarm her.

Is Three Too Much?

Women who drink at home alone are more likely than others to later have drinking problems according to the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, a component of the National Institutes of Health. Depression is closely linked to heavy drinking. Among women who drink 13 percent have more than seven drinks per week. A report from the Dietary Guidelines for Americans indicates this to be above the recommended limits for women based on the lower level of water in a woman's body to dilute alcohols effect.

Getting to the Bottom

Jennifer questioned why she was in such a self-destructive mode. Meditation helped her probe deeply into her problem...take an honest look at what she was doing to herself and ultimately her family.
Until recently she was the soccer mom. Her identity wrapped around her children, their activities, their wants and needs. However, as they grew older and more independent, they neither needed - nor wanted so much of her attention.

She felt she no longer had an important role in life. So who was she? What was she supposed to do now? Discontented with staying at home but afraid to venture into the job market made her feel more depressed. She finally resolved to start doing things for herself that would boost her self-esteem.

The **BAMVP stress reduction techniques and "time for me" getaways allowed her to reflect on who she was and what she wanted out of life. She joined a fun exercise activity - belly dancing; registered with a temp work agency to brush up on her job skills and ease back into the workforce. Best of all Jennifer renewed a past passion when she enrolled in a series of art workshops.

Stress Plays a Role in Addictive Behavior

One of the reasons people drink, overeat, chain smoke, gamble compulsively, etc., is to help cope with stress. For people like Jennifer, getting to the bottom, uncovering the core issue, is all that is needed to begin to move on. Others may have to hit rock bottom, what I call the "Popeye fed up mode" of "That's all I can stand and I can't stands no more!" That's when they move to action and seek help.
Counseling, outreach groups like AA, Gamblers Anonymous, over eaters programs, and faith help them to move on with life.

When you deal with what is causing the stress in your life, the addictive behavior becomes manageable. And for some like Jennifer, no longer necessary.

*From the book, "When You Need a Timeout."

**Breath, Affirmations, Meditation, Visualization, Progressive Relaxation. See 11/2/10 blog post "BAMVP Be A More Vibrant Person: How to Fit Relaxation Into Your Busy Day."

5 Strategies That Help You Stop Smoking for Good

2012-01-14T09:18:00.000-08:00

                                BAM VP - Be A More Vibrant Person in 2012
A is for Affirmations. Positive thoughts about yourself to yourself will lift your spirits and strengthen your resolve. Take a look at the tasks ahead of you this day. State your intention to succeed in all your challenges. Make your affirmations fit your lifestyle. Make a daily commitment to BAM VP every day and rediscover your joy of living. Seize the day!
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                 5 Strategies That Help You Stop Smoking for Good

"When it is obvious that the goals cannot be reached, don't adjust the goal, adjust the action steps." - Confucius

You resolved to stop smoking in 2012. Here it is week two and you haven't had a cigarette. Congratulations! It's no secret that stopping is one of the most challenging things you will ever do. According to the National Institutes of Health an estimated 85 percent of smokers have tried to quit or would like to quit. So when you find your resolve wavering, don't give in. Just recheck your strategy.

Understand Why You Smoke

There are many reasons why people smoke. Some say it is relaxing, or creates a sense of comfort from anxiety or boredom, helps gain acceptance with peers, or they love the rush euphoria smoking provides. So why do you want to stop? Write down all the reasons you don't like smoking. Then add this to your stop smoking list, "Because I know that one day this habit will betray me and destroy my health."

Replace the Smoking Habit with a Healthy Habit

When you stop smoking you take away a familiar routine you have lived with for some time. You leave a void that cigarette smoking will quickly reclaim if you don't find a replacement.

Take the initiative and identify healthy alternatives that work for you. For example, the person who gets a rush from smoking can get that euphoric feeling from exercising, jogging, brisk walks or playing sports.   The bored person needs activities that stimulate the mind such as puzzles, games of strategy, Sudoku, educational pursuits or creative interests. The healthy alternative for the person who smokes to relax is obvious. The *BAM VP relaxation techniques are the most effective way to relax muscle tension and produce feelings of serenity and calm.

Change Your Routine and Cigarette Associations

To quit successfully you have to change the connections you associate with smoking. For example, if you associate the first breath of the morning with a cigarette, or you enjoy a cigarette with your coffee, what will you do to change? One suggestion is to drink a full glass of water first thing in the morning. Take your coffee on the patio instead of the kitchen. Small changes break your routine.  It is up to you to have choices available to create these new connections.

Reward Yourself Often Throughout Your Stop Smoking Campaign
Link some pleasure and excitement to your campaign to stop smoking by rewarding yourself every time your reach a milestone. Think of a treat you really want - and get it. New shoes, jewelry, a new putter, movie, CD, book, spa treatment. The best part is you will be using the money you saved not buying cigarettes!

Don't Let Other People's Smoke Bother You
If seeing other people smoke is your trigger then this advice may seem contradictory. But in order to quit for good you have to face your fear of temptation.   At some point deliberately expose yourself to other people's smoke. You know by now that cigarette smoke smells a lot better than it tastes going down your lungs. Use your stop smoking list to arm yourself with strong convictions and affirmations. Recognize that this is a test that you are determined to ace. By actively courting each temptation and winning you be adding new strategies that strengthen your resolve to quit. You will become more confident with each victory and prepared for the next test of your will.

Mercifully after the ten days or so the urge to smoke will come less frequently. But it will pounce out of the blue when you least expect it. And when it does you will be a formidable foe with all the strategies and coping skills you need to handle and defeat these last remnants of the urge to smoke.
These are the strategies that worked for me and I have not had a cigarette nor desire for over 20 years!

If you need additional help quitting there are on-line stop smoking programs, like QuitNet and The American Lung Associations that provide free help for people trying to kick the habit.

*BAM VP - Breath work, Affirmations, Meditation, Visualization, Progressive Relaxation. See 11/2/10 blog, "Be A More Vibrant Person: How To Fit Relaxation Into Your Busy Day"

End Your Weight Loss Struggles

2012-01-05T10:54:00.000-08:00

BAMVP - Be A More Vibrant Person In 2012!

B is for Breath. Periodically during the day put the to-do list on hold. Take a moment to relax and recharge by focusing on your breathing. Slow, deep breaths from the diaphragm relax the muscles and flood the body with renewed energy. Make a daily commitment to BAMVP in 2012 and rediscover your joy of living!
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End Your Weight Loss Struggles

"A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other". --Author Unknown

Is your resolution to lose weight in 2012? The same weight you lost in 2011 and 2010? Why can't you make that weight loss stick?

*Dawn had the same question. For three years she resolved to lose 10 to 15 pounds to jump start her weight loss program. No diet was off limits. Low fat. Low carb. High protein. Even all liquid, all cereal, all cabbage soup. And each year she lost those 10 to 15 pounds. Unfortunately, when she started eating normally the weight came back. With an extra pound or two for added measure. Help!

Eating to Relieve Stress

Dawn slowly realized that dieting was not a permanent solution. And until she understood her compulsive need to eat it would always be a temporary fix. Dawn is a single parent with sole responsibility for raising her two children. Juggling parenting, household, commuting, a job she hated and a boss insensitive to her unique needs left her exhausted and frustrated by the end of the day. The stress was making her fat because food, and plenty of it, kept her company during the long, lonely nights after the children were put to bed.

Finally fed up, literally and figuratively, Dawn turned to BAMVP techniques to help her relax and eventually get control of over eating. She found that writing down the troubles of her day gave her peace of mind. And she spared no punches in her private journal letting her real feelings out! Using words she dared not say out loud, especially to her boss was freeing. Dawn found less need for food when asserting herself this way.

Permanent weight loss is no longer a struggle for Dawn. The need that drove her to compulsively eat has been replaced.

*From the book, "When You Need a Timeout".

Note: BAMVP Be a More Vibrant Person - see 11/2/10 post.

Great Summer Reading Sale

2011-07-11T06:33:00.001-07:00

I am happy to be a participant in the

Smashwords Summmer Ebook Sale

July 1-31, 2011

Download, Sample, Purchase

When You Need a Timeout by
Barbara Mitchell DCH

"The Busy Girl's Guide to Real Stress Relief"

*Nominated for Global eBook Awards

On Sale for $5.00 Summer Sale Only With Coupon Code at Checkout

http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/3838

Available On Popular e-Reading Apps for Iphone/iPod and Android phones

Spend Time With A Good Book on the Beach, by the Pool, at the Spa

Great Summer Reading

2011-07-11T06:33:00.000-07:00

Spell Stressed Backwards and You Get Desserts: How to Manage Stress to Make Life Sweeter

2011-04-01T18:26:00.000-07:00

"Adopting the Right Attitude Can Convert a Negative Stress Into a Positive One" - Hans Selye April is Stress Awareness Month Let's face it. We are all going to face some stress in our lives. Although not all stress is bad. A new home, job promotion, new baby, wedding plans are all examples of good stress. On the other hand tight finances and job losses are all too common sources of stress in these economic times. These negative events take a mental and physical toll on us. This can eventually impact our immune system and lead to long-term health problems. How Do You Cope With Stress So how do you cope when faced with stressful situations? How do you get through the day? Do things build until you find yourself with a short fuse, easily irritated, taking your anger out on those around you? Or are you one who becomes overwhelmed, emotionally withdrawn, depressed and end up doing nothing? In either scenario you probably know you need better coping skills. A skill that is both powerful and effective is a technique used in NLP called "anchoring". The premise of this procedure is that you can change the way you feel immediately - sad to happy, lethargic to motivated for example - by using anchors. The process is really quite simple. And it works. Here's how to do it. Stop Negative Self Talk The next time you are feeling down change the way you physically carry yourself. Hold your head up, stand tall, breathe deeply and walk with confidence. Sounds too simple, right? But notice the reaction you get when interacting with others. Your outward appearance will project confidence no matter how you may feel inside. Next change your negative self talk - the "loser" talk - with one word. STOP! See the word mentally or speak it out loud. This will immediately interrupt that downward spiral and pave the way for anchoring. NLP Anchoring Start by remembering a time you felt good about yourself. Immerse yourself in that memory. What were you doing, wearing, with whom, saying what. At the height of that memory, when you are feeling awesome, do something unique to anchor that mood. Clench your fists, tug your ear, hum a special tune. Pick a gesture that works for you. Anchor several feel-good memories, dreams, or fantasies in the exact same way. And you are done. Now every time you use your anchor - for example, let's say tug your ear - you will automatically trigger all the good feelings you have linked to it. Use this NLP technique every time you are feeling tense, anxious, stressed. Fire off that anchor and immediately be in a better place. You will feel more resourceful in this state of mind. Better able to explore new avenues for resolving or at least tackling the source of your stress. Look at it this way, when you spell stressed backwards you get desserts. Stress, when managed well, makes life sweeter.

Spring Cleaning for the Mind, Body and Spirit: To a More Vibrant You

2011-03-15T11:52:00.000-07:00

"No matter how long the winter, spring is sure to follow" - Proverb from Guinea

Wasn't this a cold snowy winter? I for one am ecstatic that spring is in the air. I can finally open my doors and windows. Let in the fresh air. And chase away the winter doldrums.

This year I included one new item on my spring cleaning list. Me. I need an infusion of fresh air. An energy boost to clear the sluggish routine I've been used to all winter. And just like my home, it is time for me to be refreshed and renewed.

Spring Cleaning for the Mind

Have you noticed that we think the same thoughts that we did the day before? Do the same old routine again and again out of habit? My usual Saturday morning routine is to turn on the television while I clean the house. Not this Saturday morning! It is time for me to spring forward in a new direction. So I decided instead of television I would listen to some music in its place. Soon I found myself singing along with the songs I loved. Got a little carried away in fact. Belting out songs. Singing around the house with my broom as a microphone. It was silly fun. I was laughing and the "feel good" endorphins were flowing. American Idol watch out!

Spring Cleaning for the Body

After the long sedentary winter I had to do something to get the blood circulating. Nothing too strenuous of course. But enough of an exercise to get the "creaks" out of my joints. I turned on my Yoga tapes and started the series of graceful stretches known as the Sun Salutation. Starting in Mountain pose, hands up, head to knees, lunge, plank, Cobra, Downward Dog, lunge, head to knees, up to Mountain. Awkward at first. But by the second round I was a little more flexible. My body felt different. I finished in the Warrior pose feeling strong and in charge.

Spring Cleaning for the Spirit

What better way to beat the winter blues and lift the spirit than to get out in nature. I went outside to my patio and sat with eyes closed, facing the sun. Enjoying the kiss of the sun on my face. The warmth of its rays on my body. The sunshine was stimulating the flow of serotonin which helped to elevate my good mood. In addition I was benefitting from my body's production of vitamin D, the sunshine vitamin for strengthening my bones.

After several minutes in this relaxing mood, I began deep abdominal breathing. Inhale one, two, three. Hold one, two, three. Exhale one, two, three, four, five. Slow deep abdominal breaths with the added bonus of exercising my stomach muscles and trimming my waist at the same time.

Five minutes later and I was feeling energized. Buoyant. Vibrant. And this positive energy lasted all through the day.

International Read An Ebook Week

2011-03-07T07:35:00.000-08:00

I am happy to be a participant in the

3rd Annual

International Read An Ebook Week

March 6 - 12, 2011

Stop Dieting and Lose Weight: Stress Free Weight Loss Tips

2011-01-06T08:07:00.000-08:00

Several years ago I was looking for a "non diet" solution to take off the extra weight I invariably gain over the holidays. Then I read this tip - by cutting the sugar by half in my morning tea I could lose 5 plus pounds in a year. It was simple, effortless and it worked. Since then I've looked for stress free weight loss tips when I need to take off a few extra pounds. Below are a few of my favorites:

8 Quick Tips to Jump Start Your Weight Loss: (1) Drink a glass of water when you feel hungry. Wait 10 minutes. Your body may be signaling thirst - not hunger. (2) Eliminate all sodas and alcohol for a month. (3) Get in the habit of eating meals on dessert plates for portion control. (4) Eat most of your calories at breakfast and lunch when you are most active. (5) Don't eat anything after 8:00 pm, or at least two hours before bedtime. (6) Brush and floss your teeth after eating to discourage nibbling. (7) Eat sweets late in the day. Sugar is an appetite stimulate so save the sweet treats for later in the day. (8) Can't fit the daily recommended servings of fruits and vegetables into your day? Juice them.

Control Your Appetite by including at least one low Glycemic Index (GI) food with each meal or snack. Eat a salad at the start of every meal and fruit at the end. Watch the weight come off. Among its other benefits, low GI foods curb the appetite and reduce cravings. And there is a wide variety of delicious and nutritious foods to choose from. Even ice cream and chocolate!

Boost Your Metabolism with interval training. Alternating high intensity with low intensity exercises throughout a twenty minute workout will boost your metabolism long after the exercise session is over. Don't go to the gym? Take a walk thirty minutes after eating. Get a pedometer to track your progress. One hour of walking equals 150-200 calories burned. Make exercise fun. Dance, bike, jump rope, learn Martial arts, try belly dancing. (Zumba anyone?) You get the picture.

Reduce Your Stress: Stress and weight gain seem to go together. Learn relaxation, visualization, deep breathing or self-hypnosis techniques to get through the tough times. Try this two minute stress relief technique: Choose a relaxing color, word or phrase. Touch your thumb to first finger to form a circle (I'm okay" sign). Close your eyes and focus your attention inward. Inhale slowly. Exhale twice as long. Say, see or imagine your relaxing color, word or phrase. Repeat four times beginning with the slow inhalation. Allow yourself to let go now. Enjoy the sense of calm.

One Final Tip: Use simple techniques that you can incorporate into your everyday schedule. Make those you can live with a part of your life. After all, maintaining your ideal weight should be "stress free".

Be A More Vibrant Person: How to Fit Relaxation Into Your Busy Day

2010-11-02T07:57:00.000-07:00

Like most women you multi-task every day juggling the demands of work, home and family. You rarely find time to take a break and de-stress. In fact taking time out to relax is a "guilty pleasure" you can't afford.

But those stress related symptoms...the irritability, fatigue, that run-down depressed feeling...tell us that "me time" is important for our emotional and physical health. Women who practice relaxation every day are better able to cope with stress related symptoms, illness and disease.

Think you don't have time to fit relaxation in an already too busy day? Five of the most effective stress busters can be done in five minutes or less. Require no special equipment. Just your breath and imagination. All are easy to do and can easily fit into a busy schedule. They are Breath work, Affirmations, Meditation, Visualization and Progressive Relaxation (BAMVP).

Making BAMVP Work For You

Morning Meditation: Time 5 minutes

Beginning tomorrow morning, don't hit the ground running! Set your alarm five minutes earlier to ease into your day. Meditation is about being in the moment. Not letting worries intrude. This is your time for quiet serenity. Use it to reflect on what is good in your life.

Affirmations: Time 0 minutes

During your morning cleanse, look into the mirror and say something good about yourself. While it is easy to find superficial faults, this day you will choose to embrace all that is uniquely you. Positive thoughts about yourself to yourself will lift your spirits.

Meanwhile, take a look at the tasks ahead of you this day. State your intention to succeed in all your challenges today. This optimistic view will raise your self-esteem and boost your confidence.

Breath work and Visualization: Time 1 minute

Periodically during the day, ideally every time you change activities, take a minute to relax and recharge. Put the to-do list on hold. Sit comfortably and focus on your breathing. Beginning on the exhalation, take slow deep breaths from the diaphragm. Inhale. Oxygen fills the lungs, circulates throughout the blood stream and triggers the relaxation response. Muscles relax. Breath and heart rate slows.

Close your eyes and visualize a beautiful memory or proud moment. Make it real by noticing the colors, sights, sounds, smells, who you are with, what you are wearing, etc. Visualization encourages the release of "feel good" endorphins. Puts a smile on your lips. Open your eyes and continue with your day.

Progressive Relaxation: Time 5 minutes

At the end of a long day this deep muscle massage is a great sleep aid. While lying in bed, tighten and relax each muscle group. Begin with the feet. Then the calves, thighs, stomach and buttocks, arms, fists, shoulders, neck and face. Repeat until you feel tension and fatigue drain from your body.

And there you have it. Five of the most effective stress busters in five minutes or less. Breath work, Affirmations, Meditation, Visualization and Progressive Relaxation. All the tools you need to Be A More Vibrant Person (BAMVP). Everyday.

Relieve Breast Cancer Stress with These Healing Techniques

2010-10-07T13:09:00.000-07:00

October is National Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Statistics show over 1 million women worldwide will be given this diagnosis over the next year. The good news is there has been tremendous improvement in the diagnosis and treatment of this illness. The bad news is that chances are you will know someone close who is battling breast cancer.

The Link Between Stress and Cancer

Most women take on task after task and never equate the stress this causes with ill health. This health burnout comes from juggling family life, career and job advancement anxieties, friends and relationship problems while not allowing enough time for personal needs and relaxation. This woman is a prime candidate for a stress related major illness to occur sooner or later.

The link between increasingly taking on tasks, the stress they place on the body, the body's fatigue and breakdown of the immune system sets the stage for increase in the production of abnormal cells. The immune system is the body's natural defense against illness and contains and destroys cancer cells. A weakened immune system leaves the body at its lowest point to combat these abnormal cells. Now we have the optimal conditions for cancerous growth.

The Mind-Body Healing Connection

Of critical importance to cancer patients are the effects of emotional stress to suppress the immune system, compromising the body's natural defenses against cancer. If you are diagnosed, steps must be taken to strengthen your belief in your body's defenses in treating this cancerous growth.

Stress Relief Techniques for Healing

Learning to relax, visualization for wellness and self-help skills in nutrition and simple exercises will help you own the process of getting well. A regular relaxation routine helps reduce fear, anger, depression and the effect that tension and stress place on the body.

Exercise, any exercise, even if it's only lifting the arm or pointing the toes in a routine and repetitive daily regimen produces "feel good" endorphins which increases the feeling of well being.

Visualization is used to create mental images of the desired health outcome. It is a very focused tool used as a weapon to fight and win against disease. Below is a powerful mental imagery process devised by the Simonton Cancer Counseling and Research Center for its cancer patients:

A. Begin by Practicing a Relaxation Technique:

Sit in a quiet room. Loosen or remove all restricting clothes, shoes, belts, etc. Begin to focus on your breathing. Take several deep breaths, inhaling and exhaling slowly. Close your eyes and mentally moving from head to toe, think and relax each part of your body. Rest.

B. Then Begin the Mental Imagery Process:

(1) Visualize the cancer cells as weak in whatever way that appears to you.
(2) Visualize treatment as a strong and powerful symbol in whatever form that symbol takes.
(3) Visualize the healthy cells and white cells invincible, able to defend the body and defeat the weak cancer cells.
(4) Visualize the dead cells being flushed from the body.
(5) Visualize/image a picture of you healthy and energetic and fulfilling your life's purpose.

Practice three times a day for ten or fifteen minutes.

This is Your Life

Managing stress in combination with your medical treatment, are steps you can take to change the feeling of helpless victim to that of a person in charge of her life. Become an active participant in your recovery process and all medical decisions. Ask your doctor(s) plenty of questions - and seek answers. Research alternatives.

Positive reinforcement is vital to your recovery efforts. Seek out compassionate, supportive people during this process. Set goals for three months, six months and one year to increase the positive outlook that comes with having something to look forward to.

Mommy I Need a Timeout

2010-05-26T08:30:00.000-07:00

There are times when your youngster's behavior is really out of control. Hitting, screaming, yelling, throwing things and saying "no" to everything. Your child may not be old enough to explain his stressful behavior. But his non verbal body language is your cue that he needs a timeout.

Take Several Deep Breaths

Before you lose it, take several deep breaths to calm yourself. The more composed you are the better able you will be to get things under control. You want to deescalate the situation and find out what is wrong. Fortunately, children come with tools they use to understand the world around them. Their face, hands, legs and imagination. Your awareness and knowledge of your child will help you to say and do the right thing.

Find a Quiet Place

First find a quiet place to sit with your child. Observe what she is doing. Is your child looking down while talking to you, moving her arms, swinging her legs? You want to meet her at her own level, get into her world. So start doing what she's doing. This is called matching and mirroring a behavior and is the quickest way for you to experience what your child is feeling. Then ask if she is feeling sad, mad, worried, etc.

Draw a "Smiley Face"

Your child may not be able to put his feelings into words. If this is the case, show him pictures of faces expressing his feelings and emotions. You can draw these expressions simply as a "smiley face" cartoon. For example, draw a big smile to show happiness, eyes looking down for feeling sad, a furrowed brow for worrying, a teardrop and down turned mouth for unhappiness and so on. Have your child point to the picture that describes how he is feeling.

The Beauty of Childhood

The beauty of childhood is that children's moods can change in an instant. They live in the moment. What is going on now is all that matters to them. Good memories balance out the bad feelings immediately and give your child a sense of having the power to make things right. Help him find his happy memories. Assure your child that you love him regardless as to the way he is acting or feeling. You can say for example, "I love you even if your feelings are hurt, you won't share your toys, etc". Give him a hug of assurance.

Hugs and Assurances Help Reach the Goal

Then ask your child to again point to the face that looks like what she is feeling. The goal of course is that she points to the happy "smiley" face. Don't rush this time together. Continue the hugs and assurances until she points to the smiling face.

Teach the Lesson in a "Fun" Way

Now is the time to teach the lesson of sharing, correct the behavior, or do whatever the situation calls for to make it "all better". You can use songs, rhymes, poems or cartoon characters to help make your point in a "fun" way. Helping your child cope with stress is also a wonderful way to ease the stresses of parenthood. You will both get enjoyment from this timeout.

My Mother's Day Gift to You - Stress Free Moments

2010-04-22T07:58:00.000-07:00

It's Mother's Day. The one day of the year when you can spend an entire day on you, doing wonderful things just for you. Without feeling guilty. I invite you to take time out from stress anxiety to relax, release, recharge and rejuvenate.

Start Your Day with Stress Free Moments

Ease into your day. Just by focusing on your breathing you can enjoy an easy form of meditation - and a reduction of stress symptoms. You will be keeping your thoughts in the moment. Not worrying about the problems of yesterday or tomorrow:

*Quiet Joy Every Morning

Take a moment to gaze out a window. Savor the joy of morning. Drink in the wonders of nature. Look up at the sky. Stop and allow yourself to be in awe of the grandeur of the vast sky with its crisp dawn colors or muted grays and the brilliance of the sunrise. Look for the changing patterns and faces in the clouds (remember when you were a child?).

Allow your gaze to glide over the majestic trees...their distinct shapes...their patterned limbs and sway of leaves. Listen to the morning sounds. Or quiet stillness - the morning hush. Stay in this beautiful moment. Just feel. Let the feeling flow. Let it slowly flow.

A word will come to you - this is really "peaceful, relaxing, soothing, calming, etc." That's your cue to close your eyes. Inhale slowly, mentally repeating your word. Hold your breath a few seconds and then slowly exhale. If a worry crosses your mind, say to yourself, "Not now. This is my moment, my time, my space, my peace of mind.

Inhale slowly, deeply, to bring oxygen and energy flowing through your body. Exhale. Repeat this breathing exercise until you are ready to open your eyes and continue on with your day.

*Excerpt from When You Need a Timeout

Happy Mother's Day!

Mother's Day Special - My Gift to You. You can download the Ebook, When You Need a Timeout for $5.00 (normally $9.99) from now until Mother's Day, Sunday, May 9, 2010. Available only at
www.smashwords.com/books/view/3838. At checkout enter the coupon code KG33P.

Hypnosis: A Powerful Relaxation Therapy That Works

2010-04-05T08:32:00.000-07:00

A Natural State of Hypnosis

When I ask clients if they have ever been hypnotized, invariably they will answer no. But in fact people go in and out of hypnosis every day. Think about it. When you are daydreaming you are focused inward. That is a natural state of hypnosis. When you are engrossed in a good book and the children are yelling and the dog is barking, but you are oblivious to all around you. That's a natural state of hypnosis. How about when you are in a movie theatre full of people. When the lights go down, it's just you and Denzel or Leonardo DiCaprio on that screen. You are so narrowly focused that no one around you exists. A natural state of hypnosis.

Hypnosis Is

Narrowly focused inward, aware of but oblivious to outside stimuli. That is the definition of hypnosis. Specifically, it is a state of focused concentration characterized by very pleasant feelings of relaxation, heightened imagination and increased responsiveness to an idea. While you are fully conscious, you are tuned out to most stimuli around you.

A Powerful Relaxation Therapy

As a Stress Management Consultant, I was attracted to the study of hypnosis because it is a powerful relaxation therapy that helps people make rapid changes. A person with a lifelong fear of flying, for example, can take a plane trip after hypnosis. A person battling weight gain will lose her craving for fattening foods. A heavy smoker will throw away his cigarettes. A person suffering chronic pain can learn to manage it through self-hypnosis and live a better quality of life. A person burdened by a past mistake, trauma, abuse or guilt can have those painful memories neutralized through hypnosis and get to enjoy living life again.

Scientific Studies

Google "hypnosis" and you will find many scientific studies trying to define how hypnosis works. Using neuroimaging tools, scientists do know that it is not a sleep state. The brain waves are in alpha (relaxed) rhythm as opposed to delta (sleep) rhythm. A hypnotized subject when told a white sheet of paper is red shows activation in the color perception are of the brain. Hypnotically induced suggestions of pain activate the brain area as if the subject was in real pain. The phenomenon of inducing goose bumps on the arm of a hypnotized subject by pretending to rub an ice cube on the arm has been observed and documented.

Hypnosis: This Stuff Really Works!

While the scientific studies of hypnotic phenomena are ongoing let me share this anecdotal story. While practicing self-hypnosis I had taught her, my client realized a wonderful side benefit. The blinding migraine headaches she had been experiencing all her adult life were relieved through hypnosis. At her next appointment she reported this to me. Her astonished declaration was, "I don't know how...but this hypnosis stuff really works!

Ladies - Reduce Your Stress to Feel Better

2010-03-12T08:17:00.000-08:00

Every woman has a point where stress starts to take a toll on her health. When stress is excessive it can express itself as nervousness, mood swings, an inability to concentrate or episodes of fear and panic. Few women realize that stress exacerbates every female cycle beginning with preadolescence through post menopause. Because chronic stress leads to overproduction of adrenaline, cortisol and estrogen hormones, it triggers unpleasant physical symptoms, from the bloating and cramping of PMS to the hot flashes and night sweats of menopause.

Take Steps to Reduce Stress

The best thing you can do to enjoy better health is to practice relaxation techniques. Reducing stress lets your body release tension and allows time to repair and rejuvenate. The method you choose depends on your own needs. Some people see stress as a challenge and take it in stride. It takes a lot to affect them. Still others become overwhelmed easily and end up physical wrecks. Power walking and vigorous exercise may suit the former while yoga stretches or meditation may suit the latter. In either case it is helpful to know how you handle stress and when you need to harness resources to relieve it. In fact it is not the stress so much but the way you handle it that is more important to your physical and emotional health.

Breathe from the Diaphragm

The most effective and least complicated way to relieve stress is through deep breathing. Learning the correct deep breathing technique is important for maximum benefit: Sit or lie down comfortably. Loosen all tight clothing. Place you hand on your lower abdomen and feel it rise and fall as you breathe. Next take slow deliberate breaths. When you inhale imagine you are blowing up a balloon. You stomach should rise. This allows the diaphragm to contract and oxygen to fill your lungs. As you exhale, imagine deflating the balloon or letting the air out. Continue to inhale and exhale slowly. Visualize clearing toxins, fatigue and worry as you exhale. Repeat for three to five minutes.

Taking slow, deep breaths signals the mind to relax. The lungs fill with oxygen dispersing energy throughout your body. Muscles relax, the heart rate normalizes, breath is calmed and balance is restored.

Reap the Rewards

Take time out several times a day, between activities to relax. With daily practice you will find that you can quickly slip into relaxation mode. And reap the rewards. The first thing you will notice is that you have more energy throughout the day. You will also have a slower pulse, lower blood pressure and lower levels of the stress hormone cortisol. Women who take time out to practice relaxation during the day significantly reduce their risk for stress related disease.

He Loves Me, She Loves Me Not

2010-01-23T11:07:00.000-08:00

You really love your guy and you do everything you can to show him. Yet, although he says he loves you, he's more reserved in showing affection. At times he seems too distant...not so into you. This leads you to question if he really does love you.

Do You Feel Loved?

The stress is causing you to act irritable and unlovable. But before you end up sabotaging your relationship, take a timeout and think about this. People mean different things using the same word. If we ask any two people what is important in a personal relationship both may agree that it is to feel loved. Yet, one will enjoy a long and loving relationship with his partner while the other will go through many relationships without feeling she has found love. Why is that? To find the answer you need to know what the "love" word means to your guy. And more importantly, what it means to you.

Finding Your Spin on the "Love" Word

Take the time to decide what you desire in a relationship. Start by asking yourself, "What makes me feel loved?" Then you and your partner make separate lists of eight to ten values that must be present. Your list might include - attraction, kissing and hugging, makes me laugh, communication and faithfulness. His may include - attraction, excites me, supports me, commitment and time for myself. Compare lists. You'll both discover what is important to the other. And the different "spin" each has on what it takes to feel loved will become evident.

How to Stay in a Loving Relationship

Go through your lists. Find the values you both have in common. For example, "excites me"
(his list) and "kissing and hugging" (your list" are well-suited. Use them to bridge the gap with those that seem incompatible. For example, "communication" (your list) and "time for myself" (his list) appear to be opposite values. This is where you both have to be open to compromise. Exercise some flexibility. Give and take is the basis for a happy and lasting relationship.

Why You Might Walk Away

For more insight, reorder your list. Rank your ideal relationship placing what is most important to you in first, second and third position. Have him do the same with his list. If "faithfulness" (your list) is at the top... and it is not given, you will likely walk away from this love connection. If his list topper is "commitment" to one person and it is not met, he may walk away. As you can see, giving priority to these top concerns is vital for your future together. Support and fulfill each other's most important values as much as you can.

Does He Love You?

Have fun with this exercise. It is a stress management tool designed to help you answer the question, "What makes me feel loved?" And learning what both your needs are for a fulfilling relationship is an added bonus. So does he love you? Share your results below.

Secrets to Losing Weight Without the Stress

2010-01-08T06:00:00.000-08:00

Certain foods and herbs have a calming effect on the body, while others have an antidepressant effect. Still other foods tend to create more stress. Cut back or eliminate substances known to aggravate anxiety and stress, such as caffeine, nicotine and stimulant drugs. Limit salt, sugar and alcohol consumption. Substitute with decaf and/or herbal ingredients whenever possible.

Foods That Boost Your Energy

Increase your consumption of foods that boost your energy and lift your spirits. For example, blueberries, grapes, tomatoes and sweet potatoes are rich in stress-busting vitamin C. Protein foods like skim milk and cottage cheese stabilize your blood sugar and help you feel less hungry. Walnuts, asparagus and wild salmon help maintain levels of serotonin, the "feel-good" neurochemical in the brain. According to the Glycemic Index (GI) most fruits and vegetables are low on the carbohydrate index. Include at least one low carb GI food with each meal or snack. Among its benefits, low-GI foods increase metabolism, curb your appetite and reduce cravings.

Eat Mindfully

Don't gulp or bolt down your food. Learn to savor and appreciate the eating experience. Swallow one bite before taking the next to get the full impact of taste sensations in your mouth. Use all your senses - sight to take in the colors on your plate, smell to inhale the aromas, taste to savor the different flavors and feel to enjoy the texture of the foods as you chew. Remember, it takes approximately 20 minutes for your stomach to signal the brain that you are full. So for an easy weight loss strategy, eat slooowly and you will find that you are eating less.

Stress is a Diet Killer

Learn relaxation, visualization, deep breathing or self-hypnosis techniques to get through the tough times while you are trying to lose weight. Try this quick one-minute stress reliever: (1) choose a relaxing word or phrase such as peaceful, calming, soothing, etc. (2) Make a circle with your thumb and forefinger ("I'm okay" sign) as your cue to relax. (3) Now gently close your eyes and focus your attention within. (4) Inhale slowly. (5) Think of your relaxing word or phrase as you slowly exhale. (6) Repeat (4) and (5) five times. Allow yourself to let go of any stressful thoughts. This is your time for relaxation. Enjoy your calm space. This one minute distraction may be all the time you need to take your mind off of that high calorie fix!

Natural Ways to Boost Your Holiday Mood

2009-11-22T09:15:00.000-08:00

I love the aroma of turkey roasting on Thanksgiving morning. The smell of pine cones on the fire and apple cider makes me nostalgic on Christmas day. That's because holiday smells have an emotional connection. They bring back childhood memories. The aromas lift our spirits and make us think of home. Our sense of smell is the quickest way to change our emotions and boost our mood.

And the quickest way to lift your mood and banish fatigue is to energize your home with fragrances you love. The use of essential oils is a natural way to give your home relaxing aromas all year long. Certain scents distract you from everyday stresses that zap your energy.

When you come home weary from the pressures of the day, you need something pleasant and fresh to welcome you. Place a potpourri of citrus oils like lemon, lime, orange and grapefruit in the entrance way. Grapefruit is both soothing and uplifting. Lemons and oranges freshen the air and lighten your mood.

In the kitchen put a couple of drops of essential oils in a pot of water and simmer. Use orange, lime, lemon or grapefruit for a sparkling morning, lavender for a lift in the afternoon, geranium for a soothing midday and rosemary to relieve stress. Add rose or jasmine in the dishwashing liquid at night just for pure indulgence.

Don't forget the hallway where odors and stale air tend to linger. This is the place we usually greet visitors to our home. We want to make the best first impression. Geranium oil is an excellent choice when guests are due because it makes them feel good even before they sit down. A few drops of lemon essential oil will make guests say your house has a relaxing atmosphere...even though they won't know why. But you will!

Don't Worry, Be Happy

2009-09-28T07:00:00.000-07:00

The long lazy days of summer are officially over. Autumn, with its beautiful display of red and gold colors, is here. But despite the beauty of the season, it is also a reminder that soon we'll be turning back our clocks. The days will get shorter, the nights longer. Some people experience a serious mood change when the seasons change. If your symptoms include tiredness, fatigue, depression, irritability, trouble concentrating, etc., then according to the US National Library of Medicine, you may be suffering from seasonal affective disorder (SAD).

Seasonal affective disorder (SAD), better known as winter depression or winter blues, is believed to be caused from the lack of bright light during the winter months. So what can you do about it? According to medicine.net the answer is light therapy. And the light does not have to be actual daylight from the sun. Phototherapy or light therapy is commercially sold in the form of a light box which is used for 30 minutes daily. This light is approximately 25 times brighter than your living room light.

*What else can you do to combat the "winter blues"? You can give yourself something to look forward to each day.

Get out and enjoy nature - fresh air and sunshine are terrific mood boosters.
Buy yourself a bouquet of flowers.
Meet a good friend(s) for lunch and share trials and triumphs in a supportive atmosphere.
Listen to music that puts you in a good mood.
Replace negative thinking - the "why does everything happen to me" thoughts - with self-affirming talk (I deserve to be happy and healthy!).
Interact with a child, laugh and let your "inner child" out to play.
Create something with your hands.
Pursue a goal.
Buy something new.
Get a massage - for two...

It doesn't have to cost much to give yourself small gifts of pleasure every day. Now you decide just what to add your list.

Namaste

*Excerpted from When You Need a Timeout.

For Stressful Times Take Five

2009-03-03T06:26:00.000-08:00

You don't need the headlines to tell you these are stressful times. The mortgage crisis, jobs lost, inadequate health care, wall street and bank bailouts. If you're not directly affected, you probably know someone dear who is. On top of that you've got your own "stuff" - jobs, families and other responsibilities and the stress begins to take its toll. The outward signs may be hard to detect in the beginning, but one sure sign of stress can be seen in your eyes. Take a moment to look directly at your eyes in the mirror. Normally you see the whites on either side of the iris. If the whites are visible under the irises, that's a symptom of high stress. If you see the upper whites of your eyes, above the irises, that is a sign of chronic stress. These are signs that you need to take care of your overall health....now. Make time in your schedule to rest and release some of that stress and negative emotion. Try the following techniques for relaxing relief in just five minutes.

Rest Your Eyes And Clear Your Mind

Reiki, or energy therapy (sometimes called healing touch) is an ancient Japanese healing tradition for stress reduction and relaxation. Reiki Hands is a quick technique when you need a deeply relaxing break - especially for those times when you need to concentrate and think more clearly. So, let's get started by relaxing the eyes. Seated, place your elbows on a desk or table. Vigorously rub and clap your hands together to create warmth. Cup your hands over your eyes. Take slow, deep breaths and try to see nothing but black. Tibetan yogis believed that black is the color for optimum relaxation of the optic nerve. Stay with this exercise a few moments or until you feel relaxed enough to continue with your day.

Stop Feeling Overwhelmed

NLP or Neuro Linguistic Programming is the study of how language, both verbal and nonverbal affects our nervous system, thoughts and emotions. By using a simple NLP signal you can change feeling nervous, tense and overwhelmed into a much more relaxed state in minutes. All you have to do is touch your thumb to your forefinger (your NLP signal to relax) making an "OK" sign. Take a deep breath and as you slowly exhale say to yourself, "I am calm and relaxed. The outside world does not concern me right now. My thoughts are serene, calm and relaxed". Repeat until you begin to feel sensations of relaxation. Go to your place of special memories - something that makes you feel good. Allow a few moments to feel good about yourself. Practice this NLP technique and in no time you will be able to feel relaxed just by touching your thumb to your forefinger.

Fighting Mad - Blow it Off

The next time you hear news that makes you tense, stressed or angry, notice where you feel it on your body. Stomach in knots? Tightness in chest? Pain in neck or shoulders? Wherever you feel it, try the following technique to relieve it. Close your eyes and mentally get in touch with the area of discomfort. Visualize/imagine that this feeling has a size, shape and color. Then begin to manipulate the size - make it longer, shorter, wider, and finally smaller than a dot. Make the shape smoother, rounder, weightless. Make the color lighter, brighter, softer, - becoming billowy and airy. Allow this airy feeling to travel up your body. Imagine it reaching the back of your throat. Then take a deep breath and forcefully blow it out of your body! Scan your body. Do you still feel tense, stressed or angry? If so, close your eyes and repeat this technique a few times until the feeling is gone. You are now back in control.

You Deserve To Be Happy and Healthy

If you are like most of us your day begins at 7:00 am and doesn't end until 10:00 pm or 11:00 pm. That's approximately a 16 hour day - or 960 minutes to schedule five minute relaxation breaks just for you. Surely that's not too much to ask for your health and well being. Whether you are in a state of high stress, chronic stress, or just have a desire to be proactive in your approach to stress management, the above techniques can be applied quickly and easily to bring you relief.

*Adapted from my book "When You Need a Timeout", http://www.thecalmingbreath.com/ .

Happy New Year's Resolution 101

2009-01-07T07:18:00.000-08:00

Take a Deep Breath. Exhale. Relax

Stressed because it's mid January and already your New Year's Resolution "resolve" is wavering? Maybe weight loss is your goal and you decided to cut out that morning coffee cake. Consciously you feel good about your decision. Subconsciously a little voice is asking, "where's my coffee cake?" And it keeps asking until now all you can think about morning, noon and night is the sensual pleasure of eating coffee cake. That's the way it works when you try to expunge a habit before preparing your mind for change.

And, unfortunately, it doesn't matter what your resolution is: to lose weight, stop smoking, get out of debt, find a new love, change careers, etc. Most New Year's Resolutions falter within the first couple of weeks and are forgotten before the end of February. So don't beat yourself up for wavering. Take a deep breath. Exhale. Relax.

The fact is most resolutions are a recipe for failure because they lack three important ingredients:

Ingredient #1: Ask Yourself "Why?"

You need to understand why you want to make this change at this time in your life. Get down to the emotional core of what it will mean to you - how it will impact your life. Meditate on it. Reflect inward and listen for solutions. Peel back the layers until you find the emotional need your present behavior satisfies. Be honest with yourself. Keep asking "why" until you find the core, the reason why you want to change now. Change for the sake of your family or other relationships is unacceptable in this exercise. You must learn how this change will benefit you. How willl it improve your life, your self-esteem, your feelings of self-worth? Dig deep. When you reach that "risky shift", your truth, that layer that says "I don't need this to feel good about myself. I'm not going to do or take this anymore", you are ready for change. You've found what is compelling you. You've got leverage. Now make your resolution - it will become your goal. You've taken the first step.

A Compelling Reason Why:

Thirty years ago my family lived in the city. Our apartment was hot in the summer, the houses were too close to to the neighbors, the neighborhood kids were increasing unruly and disrespectful and their parents defended rather than disciplined them when the need arose. The worse of it, though, was when we had to enroll our daughter in private school because the public school system was failing. Talk about stress! Our mini escapes, especially on hot summer nights was to drive up to the mountains and suburbs, enjoying the spacious quiet and beautiful homes. We soon decided that this is where we wanted to be. We had many compelling reasons to make a change. Our goal: to build our dream house in the suburbs.

Ingredient #2: Have a S.M.A.R.T. Action Plan

Once your mind accepts that change is coming you'll feel emotionally and physically free to work with the change process. You've probably heard the saying "If you fail to plan.....you plan to fail". So start by writing down the steps you need to take to achieve your goal - your action plan. Make it S.M.A.R.T., i.e., strategic, measurable, as if it's happening now, realistic and timely.

Be sure to build in some flexibility for unforeseen setbacks. Write down the distractions and temptations you are likely to face as well as several options to neutralize them. For example if your goal is to stop smoking in two weeks, it would be wise to note when and why you smoke. Come up with substitutes or obstacles that will make it harder to reach for a cigarette at those times.

A S.M.A.R.T. Action Plan:

When we signed the contract for our house, the builders were five months away from breaking ground. The projected closing date gave us 14 months to come up with 20 percent down payment plus closing costs. We figured we would need approximately $20,000. How did we plan to raise that kind of money? Step 1: Identify our resources: (a)We had $3500 in savings. (b) We both worked full time jobs. (c) We could shave our budget down to the bare bones. Except for our daughter's needs, we scrimped on everything (d) We still would not be able to save enough so my husband added on a part time job. Step 2: Action Plan: We planned how much we would need to save each month. Then we broke the figures down to smaller bits - what we needed to save each week. We created a large poster divided by months and subdivided by weeks and attached it to our pantry door. We faithfully recorded each week's deposits on that poster. Step 3: Create Momentum: We were aware, on a daily and weekly basis exactly how much progress we were making towards accomplishing our goal.

That brings us to the final ingredient.

Ingredient #3: Actively Pursue Your Goal

Beginning on day one, do something everyday toward reaching your goal. Create forward momentum by giving yourself motivational affirmations and rewards for the smallest accomplishments. Figure out what is the last thing that has to happen to let you know you've accomplished your goal. Close your eyes and envision how wonderful you will feel......how happy, healthy and fulfilled. So weight watchers, go out today and buy that sexy dress you hope to fit into. Hang it where you'll see it constantly and look forward to the day when you can wear it. Posts pictures of a younger, slimmer you on the refrigerator door, bathroom mirror and car dashboard for incentive. Start each day affirming your love of the body you have even if you haven't lost a pound!

The Goal

Even after thirty years I can still remember the emotional impact, the almost surreal beauty of waking up that first morning in our brand new home. Nothing can quite describe the satisfaction of accomplishing your goal.

So now you know why keeping your New Year's Resolution requires more effort than desire. But if you add the three main ingredients (1) Ask Yourself "Why?" (2) Have a S.M.A.R.T. Action Plan (3) Actively Pursue Your Goal

You will (keep your resolution).......if you want to.

Namaste

Relax Renew Refresh Recharge Rejuvenate

2008-09-29T06:26:00.000-07:00

Welcome to Stress Free Moments

I invite you to take this time from your busy schedule to learn about and try some of my relaxation tips and techniques. We'll discuss natural methods for reducing stress, anxiety and tension; topics from aromatherapy to yoga with an emphasis on breathwork. And I'd love you to Share Your Story about how you found ways to just let go of stress. For the next few minutes the outside world does not concern you. This is your time, your space, your place for relaxation. Find your quiet space.

Take a Deep Breath.....and Exhale

When my daughter was an infant, watching her sleep, her natural breathing pattern sometimes alarmed me. When she inhaled her little stomach would puff up (like blowing air into a balloon) and when she exhaled her stomach deflated, the belly button pulled in tight. Little did I know then but she knew exactly how to do natural abdominal breathing.

Most adults chest breathe, that is take quick shallow breaths from the upper chest. Take a moment to observe your breathing, especially when you are nervous or tense. Those shallow breaths cause excess loss of co2 and deprive your heart and lungs from delivering adequate oxygen to the cells. But when you take slow deep breaths the fine balance of oxygen and carbon dioxide is restored and quickly soothes the nervous system, relaxes tense muscles and slows a rapidly beating heart.

Breathwork is the master key to good health and affects our digestion, circulation, blood pressure and energy levels. To learn the proper deep breathing technique try the following:

First sit in a comfortable position. Loosen any tight clothing. Remove shoes, belts, ties - everything restrictive.

Place your hand softly on your stomach.

Beginning on the exhalation, notice your stomach pull away from your hand.

Inhale slowly, trying to push the hand as far out as possible.

Allow the breath to travel upward to the chest. Then exhale slowly.

Take a normal breath.

Repeat numbers (1) through (5) several times.

This deep breathing technique has caused you to feel relaxed, and that's a good thing. People who practice it believe we are all born with a predetermined number of life's breaths. And if we are constantly in a state of anxiety or agitation we are wasting our precious life force. So let's continue with this feeling of relaxation through calm breathing:

The Calming Breath

Gently close your eyes. Focus your awareness on your breathing. Exhale toxic air out, inhale cleansing air in. Easy in and out. Place your hand softly against your stomach. Observe the rise and fall of your breath. Deep abdominal breaths. Inhale and hold the breath to your level of comfort. Then exhale. Breathe in relaxation, calmness, coolness, love. Breathe out tension, worry, stress, negativity.

As you exhale softly, mentally say the word relax. Begin to feel relaxation flow to each part of your body. Relaxation is a feeling. Focus your awareness inward. Tune into your inner stillness. Observe the quiet mind. If a worry crosses your mind, let it pass like clouds across the sky. Say to yourself, "I can handle it", then turn your attention back to your breathing. It's tranquil now. This is your time .... your space.....your place for relaxation.

May this positive energy keep you throughout your day.

Practice The Calming Breath daily and especially when you are feeling tense and overwhelmed. You'll soon notice how much easier it is to handle those frustrating moments.

The light in me honors the light in you.

Namaste.